(Closed) mom is rude and insulting

posted 8 years ago in Money
  • poll: Should I suck it up and get the money or blow my family off and just elope?
    suck it up with mom and get her to pay for the venue : (3 votes)
    19 %
    elope : (2 votes)
    13 %
    have a small ceremony on our own : (6 votes)
    38 %
    take a breather and mull it over : (5 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 3
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I have seen some women here have family members say they will pay $XXXX, then when the time comes near the wedding~for whatever reason, they back out, and then the bride to be is on here, wondering how to pay for food at the last minute.  If I was in this type of position, I think I would use gracefully accept whatever money is given as a contribution/gift -and plan to use it toward the honeymoon, pay for the wedding yourself, and/or compromise on the people invited, and not stress about it further.  Just my 2 cents.  I hope things work out well.

    Post # 4
    521 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I would pay for it myself and have what I wanted. Honestly, it is your wedding and you should do what makes you and your fi happy.


    Don’t let her control you and boss you around with “money contributions” because it will just make you miserible and most likely not everything will be what she wants or even what you would like. Sometimes, ppl don’t hold up their end of the bargain and than you will be stuck with the money pit. I wouldn’t allow myself to put into that position. We are paying for the wedding and have saved a certain amount. If my parents or his would like to contribute that is great, but I am certainly not holding my breath for the gift.

    Post # 5
    402 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    just be happy you have family that will help u financialy–I know she is some what rude but suck it up and save as much as you can, you will be happy u did. my family gave me nada for me wedding…count your blessings.

    Post # 6
    738 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    She could’ve definitely chose her words better but be happy she is paying. 🙂 My parents haven’t offered to pay a dime and I’m okay with it actually. That way I won’t have to listen to her tell me how things should be on MY wedding day, ya know? Good luck with that!

    Post # 7
    581 posts
    Busy bee

    I would probably count the $2500 towards those family/friends that your mom wants included and then don’t plan on getting anything else.  It sounds like she has burned you before, so be careful so you don’t get stuck.  Family matters tied to money are problematical.  I wish you the best.

    Post # 8
    1161 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    If you are worried AT ALL that she won’t come through with the money, I would plan on paying for the wedding yourself, and not do a more expensive wedding than you can afford.  Then, if she does come through with the money, you have a nice nest egg.

    The topic ‘mom is rude and insulting’ is closed to new replies.

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