(Closed) mom is telling everyone not to come the the wedding ceremony

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow, that’s awful.  Really, they can’t drive an hour?  I’m not sure if the map and directions would help, but they might?  I’m just wondering if they wouldn’t already know it’s on 55 minutes away?  I hope that they will come and ignore your mother.  That is incredibly rude on her part to even say that.

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think you need to phone mom and tell her to STFU and let people decide for themselves if they want to attend. Why on earth would she not want your family attending your wedding?

Post # 7
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@eloping: +1. 

Post # 9
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I honestly think that phoning them up and talking to them would be more effective than the maps and directions.

Post # 10
Member
8020 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think it is probably the fact that the events are on two seperate days. You are asking guests to give up 2 days for your wedding which might irritate them- having to drive 2 hrs round trip and not be hosted until the next day could be off putting for them.

Post # 11
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

55 minutes isn’t far at all. You could call people personally and let them know how much you would really like them to attend.

I do agree that asking people to make a trip for you two days in a row is a bit excessive and since most people find the ceremony a bit boring and would rather just come to a party… well, it’s rude, but most people just aren’t that considerate. Generally the reception is supposed to be sort of a thank you the guests for attending the ceremony.

But your mom needs to shut her mouth. It’s not her place to decide for everyone else what is “too far”.

Post # 12
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Edelweiss:  I agree. Nailed it on the head.

Personally, 55 minutes isnt that bad but I wouldn’t want to make that drive 2 days in a row 4 times total. That would be pretty rough with my kids. But for an event like a wedding I would make it work.

Post # 13
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Thats sad, an hour is far between ceremony and reception, but I can not imagine going to the reception and not going to the wedding!!  it would be tacky and I would feel so bad 🙁  I know I would make the drive, how sad your mom is telling peoplel to not go

wait i just read its over two days??  I dont understand, your wedding and reception are not on the same day?  I would be annoyed by that too and maybe not bother with the hastle of going… I dont really understand the situation, sound complicated

Post # 14
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I drive an hour to work so yeah… I don’t see what the big deal is??

I think you need to speak to your mother about why she would be telling people this, and I also agree with the PP that it’s kinda tacky for people to be attending your reception but not bothering with your ceremony!

Post # 15
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t think your mother should be encouraging people not to come. However I do think given that you having your ceremony and reception a day apart people may not be able to drive that far two days in row.

Post # 16
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t think it’s right that you’re mom is telling people not to come to the ceremony. How rude! You’re guests can and should make up their own minds, not be influenced by your mom!

However, I agree that a 2 day event for a wedding (non-destination) can seem a bit excessive. Maybe you can suggest hotel accommodations for an overnight stay? But then again, your guests may not want to spend any extra money especially for a 1 hr distance. But still may be worth a shot to just mention that. As for the maps, it may be handy but I would just contact the guests personally. Or if you have a wedding website, you can put the maps and directions there.

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