Post # 1
1) Um, my mom sent me an email, I currently live in my parent’s house with my fiance (they needed help with their small vineyard so we came back to help), and the email stated “Please send invites thanks.” And listed 3 of her friends. She has yet to contribute to this wedding. So her telling me to send invites to people I don’t really know or care to come to my wedding kinda pisses me off. Should I just be nice and be glad it’s only 3? It will just start a huge fight.
2) She promised to pay the other half of my dress, which she has yet to do, so I have yet to go on a fitting…. I paid for half in October, and the dress came in in February. She said she would as soon as she had the money. 4 months later and I leave to work in AK in a few weeks and I don’t get back until September. How am I ever gonna get my dress fitted. I feel like the dress I picked isn’t gonna happen. I have one eye on cheaper more modest dresses just in case.
Let me know what you think.
Post # 3
Tell her…”When you pay for my dress, I’ll send invites.” Seems fair to me LOL
Post # 4
I think this is particularly tough because you do live with them. Are you paying them rent?
I think if i were not paying rent, i would include her 3 friends. If i am paying rent, i would tell her no. I would also tell her that for budgeting purposes it makes it very difficult for you since you arent really sure if she was sincere in what she says she’s going to pay for.
Post # 5
Honestly, I agree with the first suggestion. She can pay for your dress and that will help you pay for her friends to come. Win win, right??
Post # 6
Have you ever sat down and worked out a budget for the entire wedding?
It should include the total number of guests that you can afford. Allot your mother a certain number of guests.
In the budget include the $ that mom committed to pay for 1/2 the dress, so she gets a visual reminder.
Then sit down with mom and go over the budget.
Post # 7
I’m just gonna invite them. There is no talking to my mother. Everytime we try to work out a budget she gets mad and walks away. Then I’m mad… I’m just gonna take the path of least resistance. Thanks Bees!
Post # 8
I would ask her to pay for their plates and remind her of your dress. If she does not help with the dress, I would not invite her friends. I’m a bit of a bridezilla though LOL
Post # 9
@mwitter80: agreed. However, do you pay rent a/o utilities? If you don’t you have a uphill battle with this.
Post # 10
I’d remind her about the dress and tell her (very nicely) that you can’t afford to invite those friends if she doesn’t sort out payment for your wedding dress, as you’ll have to find the money for that aswell.
Post # 11
@jerrbear585: O, goodness, my mom also keeps adding ppl, even after I told her that I really only have the money for 60 guests. I do not feel her requests are unfair, but I really cannot add more ppl, so, I am listing all of these ppl she is adding daily and when I am ready to send the invites I am going to tell her that she can pick 4/5 ppl she would really like to be there. I find arguing with her over this ever time she adds someone is pointless, so I am doing it this way! Hope that helps.