Mom making me feel like a beggar

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Motor museum

Next time she offers say no thanks mum we’ve sorted it now. Perhaps not accept anything from her for a while? 

Post # 3
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

You and your fiance should plan what you can afford to pay yourselves.  You’ll be prepared if your Mom doesn’t give anymore money, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised if she does.

Why do you have to cover the wedding party?  What budget can they work with so they can pay for themselves? 

Post # 4
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

keranos:  I agree.

 

I feel like you’re relying too much on her, OP. If she really had 25k to give you,why would she keep accepting your student loan payments?

Post # 5
Member
13019 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’d just leave it be.  I mean, seriously, she gave you 25k and paid off your loan (I’m assuming so that you don’t have to pay interest) and you still want $400 bucks from her?  I’d just take everything she says with a grain of salt and not spend money she’s promised you until it’s in your hand or she’s there paying for it when you buy it.  I think it’s time to just stop depending on her money to pay for your items.

My mom offered to pay for my reception when we started planning a year in advance.  Up to just one month before the wedding, we never spoke of money.  I went on planning the wedding as if I were paying for it.  Then 3 weeks out, she said to send my dad the bill when I get it and he’d take care of it.  Had she not said that, I would have just went on and paid it myself.  I’m not one to ask for money since I was a teen, even if it had been offered.  It does sort of make me feel like a beggar.

Post # 7
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

tingles:  so she has a tendancy to make financial offers and not follow through and you’re upset that she made a financial offer where she isn’t coming through?

You know this is typical behavior yet you still accepted (and were counting on) money you know she likely wasn’t going to provide.

Change your plans, scale back and have the wedding YOU can afford.  If you don’t want to feel like beggar (your words) then don’t count on other people for money.

It’s a bad idea to plan anything based on ‘promised’ money because inevitably, something changes and that money doesn’t come through.

Post # 8
Member
1321 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

wait the bridesmaids were supposed to help pay for your wedding?

Post # 11
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

tingles:  If you can afford it and hate having to ask for money, then let it go.  Do it yourself and be done with the drama of the whole situation.  It’s a simple solution.

Post # 12
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

Ah, I see.  Maybe you could leave it be and refuse any money she might send?  I feel that if she really wanted to give you the money, you wouldn’t have to ask for it.

Post # 13
Member
4641 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If you can afford it, why does it matter that your mother never came through?

I’d get over it. She clearly has issue keeping her word and you can afford the wedding on your own. Her money isn’t necessary, so stop holding your breath for her to hand it over.

Post # 14
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you can afford it yourself then go pay for the items you need. Hair and makeup should be easy and your gr oom’s suit he or you should pay for anyway. I don’t get it. My parenta gave us money and it wasn’t an issue or any games to get it. 

Post # 15
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

This doesn’t make any sense. You said your budget was tight to cover the small(er) expense of just hair and makeup yet you later said you can afford everything on your own. Smh

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