Post # 1
This is just a sad vent. My mom planned a surprise bridal shower for me and paid for the whole thing and then ended up she couldn’t leave the house because of her depression/anxiety. We still had the shower and it was fun. My sister ran it.
This has happened before, that my mom plans to be places and then cancels because she doesn’t feel well. She’s 80 years old and doesn’t get around much. My dad is 82.
FI and I are getting married by ourselves on a cruise ship in April, and then having a family luncheon with about 40 people for the wedding itself. I am afraid she won’t be able to come to that either. Meanwhile I planned it as a lunch to help accommodate them (the day time is better for them than the evening).
I’m sad. I miss her at these things. She is taking anti depressants and anti anxiety drugs but she hates them and says they give her headaches and make her feel shaky. She never seems to get better. 🙁 🙁 🙁 My FI keeps wanting to visit them and they keep saying no because my mom is not well. IT SUCKS!
I am so bummed. My FI finally moves in with me tomorrow and then we have 2 weeks before we get married on the ship. I haven’t been able to be there for my mom as much because of all that is going on is stressful.
Just a bummer. Thanks for listening. Why are depression and anxiety so hard to fix?
Post # 3
Yes, depression does suck for the depressed person and for those close to them. Depressed individuals can suck the life out those around them.
I don’t have any answers or advice but my mom suffered from sever depression (at times) and it was a very difficult, sad situation. Maybe you can just go over and see your mom by yourself. She might be able to tolerate that better than you and SO but I think it’s great your SO wants to go see her. I know you want to share this time with her but sometimes life just doesn’t work out the way we hope.
Go on your cruise and have a great time.
Post # 4
@beccab107: thank you. That really helped a lot. I did go down and see my mom today alone. it was just good to see her. I am keeping my fingers crossed that she gets better.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
I’m so sorry. Most people just do not understand the severity of depression. It must be so hard to have your mom not be there at these major events. Maybe you could work on finding a better antidepressant? I know they’re tough to take 🙁
Post # 6
I completely understand, my shower was two weeks ago and my mother didnt show. My mom will have ridiculous mood swings and called me at 10pm the night before the shower screaming at me over a box. She never told me she wasnt going to go – so it was quite sad when I kept looking at my clock to see if she would come. She probably wont come to the wedding next week. My life has been a living hell this week due to her depression. Everything I seem to do is wrong.
i wish you the best and I know how sad it is to have this empty feeling of your own mom not being a part of this special day. Depression is such an awful disease, if youre like me – I am left with such conflicting feelings. You want to be mad at that person for being selfish and not being there for you but you know it isnt their fault 🙁
your wedding will be amazing! Try to stay positive