(Closed) Mom not coming to wedding….vent

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

<3 I have nothing useful to say but hugs!!!! Hang in there lady!

Post # 5
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Perhaps she will come around closer to the day?  

Post # 6
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

i don’t mean to say anything bad about your mom, but all these kinds of situations happen when parents think they raised children for themselves in the first place. they keep treating their children like property that they can control and manipulate around. might be rude but true, the “you picked him over me” phrase shows it best.

you must have tough times now, but please hang in there. she only needs time to understand, i don’t think anything else will help 🙁

Post # 7
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

That’s terrible. I guess you can just let them all know how hurt you are but tell them it won’t change your mind. They will see that you’re 100% ready to make this commitment and are not interested in arguing about it. Hopefully that will help them to come around. 

Post # 8
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Wow…I can’t imagine my mom not being there for me.  During my first wedding, my mom didn’t want to “participate” in any of the wedding planning.  I asked my ex-FMIL to go look at dresses with me and my mom got upset and wound up going.  She really disliked my first husband….thought I was settling.  The relationship between us and our parents was horrible b/c neither side’s family liked us.  I guess they knew we shouldn’t be together.  And when we announced our splitting up after many many years, nobody was surprised and nobody wanted us to work it out. 

I think you need to really really talk to her about the specific reasons why.  Listen to her with an open mind and then tell her the reasons why you are marrying your FI.  Unfortunately, it is probably going to affect the relationship he has with your family in the future and you need to get it out in the open now. 

Post # 10
Member
1417 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Im sorry your going thru this! ::HUGS!:: I hope she comes around to it and changes her mind!

Post # 12
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@am.coletta:  It’s very sad when family members act this way. My father didn’t agree with me marrying my husband because my husband is Polish but i didn’t care. He tried very hard to change my mind about getting married but of course it didn’t work. I made up my mind and married the man I love anyway. Now all my father is doing is dealing with it. 

My advice to you is to follow your heart. If your mom doesn’t like the fact that you will marry the man that you love, then she’ll just have to deal with it. From the looks of it, she’s just trying to get her way out of this whole situation. When she sees that you will not listen to her she’ll just have to deal with it. Good luck and I hope your mom learns to accept your decision.

Post # 13
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My mother is no longer invited to my wedding because she said that she didn’t want my father there (who was estranged for many years, longggg story), but the point is that the day is about myself and my fiance. She is also very controlling and focuses more on her own feelings than anyone else’s. It’s hard because of course you want your mother at your wedding, but i’ve gotten to the point where I know that having her there would causes more harm than good. I want to be able to enjoy the day, and I know that I wouldn’t be able to if I have to worry about what she’ll do. All I can say is, it’s your day so sometimes you just have to do what’s best for YOU :/ Hope everything works out the way you want it to!

Post # 14
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m sorry you’re goingthrough this. If you need someone to talk too u can message me. I toohave family and in law drama. 

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