Post # 1
I’m getting married in Mexico next June and my mother is refusing to even acknowledge the fact that it’s happening let alone commit to coming. She hates my Fi because “I’ve picked him over her” we have been together for 5 years and yes our relatioship hasn’t been perfect but we love each other and were committed andwe’ve made each others lives bettthe from the minute we met.
Im so sick of her trying to control me in every way possible. She can’t come to accept ,y choices in life and acknowledge the amazing life we have made for ourselves with out anyone’s help. She thinks that by boycotting my wedding and ensuring not one member of my family will be there it’s going to stop us from being together. She’s manipulating one of the most important days of my lout her of her selfishness. I’m so mad that I ended up with a family like this. I wish for one day I could have the supportive mom to go dress shopping with or to plan ad gush about the person you love
Ijust really need a vent all of this was confirmed for me today and I’m having a really hard time dealing with it let alone actually sleeping
Post # 3
<3 I have nothing useful to say but hugs!!!! Hang in there lady!
Post # 4
Thanks… I’m just at such a loss all of fi family will be there even though they not have the money for a dw but they’re so supportive and I not get why I dont deserve that I can’t believe they would take way this expirience from me
Post # 5
Perhaps she will come around closer to the day?
Post # 6
i don’t mean to say anything bad about your mom, but all these kinds of situations happen when parents think they raised children for themselves in the first place. they keep treating their children like property that they can control and manipulate around. might be rude but true, the “you picked him over me” phrase shows it best.
you must have tough times now, but please hang in there. she only needs time to understand, i don’t think anything else will help 🙁
Post # 7
That’s terrible. I guess you can just let them all know how hurt you are but tell them it won’t change your mind. They will see that you’re 100% ready to make this commitment and are not interested in arguing about it. Hopefully that will help them to come around.
Post # 8
Wow…I can’t imagine my mom not being there for me. During my first wedding, my mom didn’t want to “participate” in any of the wedding planning. I asked my ex-FMIL to go look at dresses with me and my mom got upset and wound up going. She really disliked my first husband….thought I was settling. The relationship between us and our parents was horrible b/c neither side’s family liked us. I guess they knew we shouldn’t be together. And when we announced our splitting up after many many years, nobody was surprised and nobody wanted us to work it out.
I think you need to really really talk to her about the specific reasons why. Listen to her with an open mind and then tell her the reasons why you are marrying your FI. Unfortunately, it is probably going to affect the relationship he has with your family in the future and you need to get it out in the open now.
Post # 9
My mom has never liked FI since we moved in together. We moved in after dating for 3 weeks, and I was 18 and he was 22. She hated that we were so young and that we hardly knew eachother. I understand exactly where shes coming from, but I just knew that we were going to be together. I was never a person to act on a whim and that shocked her.
We now live in Calgary and everyone is back in Ontario and she hates that Im away…in her eyes he stole me away. He’ll never treat me good enough, provide enough for me, havea good enough job, or make enough money according to her. Its all about material. My family has seen the downs in our relationship, and being so young we did have our struggles, but we’ve always found a way to work on it and make it better, but they just cant get past the negatives and focus on all of the amazing thigns about us.
Im just so beyond frustrated and hurt that she wouldn’t pt her own feelings aside to acknowledge the fact that Im actually beyond happy and that maybe her idea relationship isn’t mine.
Post # 10
Im sorry your going thru this! ::HUGS!:: I hope she comes around to it and changes her mind!
Post # 11
Thanks…I think I’ve decided that I’m not even going to speak to them. I dont think that having them there the day of will be a supportive thing if I have to force them to be there anyways.
Post # 12
@am.coletta: It’s very sad when family members act this way. My father didn’t agree with me marrying my husband because my husband is Polish but i didn’t care. He tried very hard to change my mind about getting married but of course it didn’t work. I made up my mind and married the man I love anyway. Now all my father is doing is dealing with it.
My advice to you is to follow your heart. If your mom doesn’t like the fact that you will marry the man that you love, then she’ll just have to deal with it. From the looks of it, she’s just trying to get her way out of this whole situation. When she sees that you will not listen to her she’ll just have to deal with it. Good luck and I hope your mom learns to accept your decision.
Post # 13
My mother is no longer invited to my wedding because she said that she didn’t want my father there (who was estranged for many years, longggg story), but the point is that the day is about myself and my fiance. She is also very controlling and focuses more on her own feelings than anyone else’s. It’s hard because of course you want your mother at your wedding, but i’ve gotten to the point where I know that having her there would causes more harm than good. I want to be able to enjoy the day, and I know that I wouldn’t be able to if I have to worry about what she’ll do. All I can say is, it’s your day so sometimes you just have to do what’s best for YOU :/ Hope everything works out the way you want it to!
Post # 14
I’m sorry you’re goingthrough this. If you need someone to talk too u can message me. I toohave family and in law drama.