Post # 1
I decided a while ago not to change my name when I get married. My mom thinks I’m making a bad decision and keeps asking me if I’ve “decided what to do about my name,” even though she knows my decision. She thinks that my not changing my name will make my life difficult and that I “will still BE Mrs. Husband’s Name, anyway,” regardless of what I do, and that I should therefore just change it. (I think what she means by this is that people may assume that my name is Mrs. Husband.) My mom is very, very strong-willed, and I know that this could become a serious conflict, one that will end with accusations of my being stubborn, foolish, or worse. I don’t want this to make me sad on my wedding day!
Any advice? Guess I just needed to vent that. 🙂
Post # 3
The next time your mom asks you if you decided what to do about your name, just tell her yes, and it’s no longer up for discussion. You would appreciate it if she respected your decision to keep the name she gave you.
Ultimately, it is your decision. She can’t make you go to the social security office or the DMV to make you change your name. If she keeps asking you, you can keep responding that you have and your name will not be changing.
Post # 4
Wow, tell your mom to mind her own business, and its your decision!
Post # 5
This is your decision. Any issue she has with it is about her (how she feels about what she did, how she feels about your father if you have his last name, etc, etc), not you. There may be some conflict if she doesn’t agree with you, but it’s your choice and if you let her make it for you, there will only be more conflict and resentment in the long run.
Seriously, do not let her bully you into making a decision that’s about her and not you. That’s a terrible way to start a marriage. I have more advice than that, but it’s not very polite. 😉
Post # 6
Do what you want – you are an adult. You can always change it down the road if you want to take his name. It is not any of your mom’s business.
Post # 7
You are not alone! My mother (despite knowing my feelings) recently mailed a letter to me that was addressed like:
Ms. Eeniebeans Smith (soon to be Jones!)
I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO raging mad. But I refuse to discuss it with her further. Now that about 2 weeks have past I am kind of almost laughing about it now. Even my Fiance, who doesn’t love me keeping my name, was like “WHOA- what is she thinking!”.