Post # 1
I love my mom dearly, and for a while she was kind of apathetic about my wedding and I was really bummed out about it. She is now much more interested and supportive, which I am ecstatic about.
Here’s the thing… we recently went wedding dress shopping and I found the dress and purchased it. I was horribly anxious afterward, went back to the shop a few days later alone, and the dress was amazing, and I loved it, and felt a thousand times better, and told them to go forward with the order.
I realized the thing that was bugging me was the picture i took of me in the dress is bugging me. the look on my face was weird, and the lighting, etc… but the dress is amazing and definitley the one.
My mom has the picture od it on her phone. She keeps showing it to people!!! It’s making me so mad! It is a WOW dress and the pic just doesn’t do it justice. My grandpa and my dad (two people i did NOT want to see the dress) both ratted her out that she had shown it to them. I threatened to delete the pic from her phone and she full-on screamed and chased me down the hallway. I asked her nicely not to show it to anyone else, and told her that she needs to respect what I have asked of her. She agreed, but i still don’t trust her. I am super upset and feel like she is making this about her. I want it to be special, not something that everyone thinks of like “been there done that”.
How do I handle this?! If I delete the pic she’ll be heartbroken, but if I don’t it will end up pasted on her facebook or something!! I want to stand up for myself yet keep the peace. She just doesn’t get it. Help!
Post # 3
I totally empathize. I was in a group from church the other day and the topic of my wedding dress came up. I was excited and offered to show them my cell phone pic, and they basically said that FMIL showed them already. I was kind of hurt because I would rather my dress be a surprise to people until the big day unless I personally choose to reveal it. I sent it to her because I wanted to show HER, not all her friends. Now it feels so anticlimactic for my wedding! So, yeah, I totally relate, but I don’t know what to do about it, either! I think it’s more drama than it’s worth to say something about it, but it’s my FMIL. It may be easier for you to deal with since it’s your mom. Good luck!
Post # 4
Just grab her phone when she isnt paying attention and delete it. I personally dont think anyone should see the dress unless you want them to.
Post # 5
Yeah, since it is my mom, I can pretty much tell her whatever, however, I am trying not to cause drama… but it’s totally bugging me. I’m not sure she can say anything that would make me comfortable with her having the picture.
Option B is go into her email myself and delete the pic. She would freak!
Ugh… so annoying! Thanks for taking the time to respond!
Post # 6
I made the mistake of keeping my dress at my mom’s house b/c I didn’t want my husband to find it accidently. Well of course I thought it was a given that I didn’t want her to show it to everybody that walked in the door, boy was I wrong! When I found out what she was doing, like you I simply asked her not to and she stopped. Really it’s not the end of the world. It will still be a “wow” dress the day of, you’ll look so much different all done up.
Post # 7
I honestly don’t see the big deal, especially if she’s only shown it to two people. When you put it on on the wedding day your going to look completely different. And it isn’t like she showed you FH. You’re mom is just excited for you and to be sharing this time with you.
Post # 8
My Mom did this too. She attended a very emotional fitting with me for support (I had a major dress fiasco and almost didn’t have a wedding dress) during which she took pictures. That NIGHT she got online and emailed the pictures around to ALL the women in both mine and DH’s families. Without asking me first!! I didn’t really mind that they saw the dress, I was more upset that I wasn’t the one who got to show them. I didn’t like having no control over something so private. Luckily it was like 1 week before the wedding so she wasn’t even able to do any more damage than that.
Post # 9
Hm, I don’t know. I guess all you can do is ask her nicely to stop it and hope for the best. Which is what you are already doing.
P.S. This comes from a bride who shows her dress to everyone who mentions the words “wedding dress”, including my FH who refused to look at it. So I can’t really relate.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t care if my mother showed other people the dress on its own, but an unflattering picture of me in it? Yeah, that’s not okay. Hope she meant it when she said she would stop.
Guess I should thank my lucky stars that my mom loves the fact that she’s the only person other than me who’s seen me in my dress. We’re both enjoying that it’s our little secret.
Post # 11
My mom took a bunch of pix of me in my dress with her i-phone and her main picture on there is of her and me wearing the dress! I told her not to show anyone, but she is exactly the type that would go and show all her friends, so it’s hard for me to believe she hasn’t done that yet. But as annoying as it is, try to think of it as flattering? She wants to show you off! You probably have no choice but to trust her not to show anyone else. Hopefully it’ll be different now that you’ve told her explicitly not to do it anymore!
Post # 12
My mom has the pictures she took of me in my dress printed out and in her purse. I was pissed when she brought them out to show the hairdresser. Even complete random people have seen it and I keep trying to just take the pictures away from her.
Post # 13
This is somewhat on topic so I would also like to vent. My mom isn’t the showoff…it’s my FMIL. The first time I went dress shopping I went with a small group (including my FMIL) and the store was busy. Needless to say I was overwhelmed and when I finally found a dress I liked we bought it. When we got home my mom was trying to convince me to go back and look again when the store wasn’t so crowded. At first I didn’t want to go…that was until I went over to my FMIL house where my fiance was staying for the weekend (we live out of town) and she proceeded to tell me that she TOLD my fiance about the dress! “I didn’t tell him everything, just a little!” Which in my opinion is far too much! My mom and I did go back (without FMIL) and find a new dress, and I was so glad I did because I found a much nicer dress! My FMIL knows I got a new dress but my mom and I have been keeping it a secret because I’m affraid she’ll snitch AGAIN!
If I were you I’d upload/email the picture to my computer and delete it from her phone. You can still have the picture and she can’t keep showing it to people.
Post # 14
hahaaaaaaaaa! I can picture my mom doing the same thing…..thank GOD she forgot her camera on dress shopping day!
Post # 15
If she isn’t respecting your request to not show it anymore, I think you should just delete it. I know this is your mom, but she’s being incredibly rude.
Post # 16
I can understand why you are upset. You want people, especially your Dad, to see you looking your best in your dress not in a photo you don’t like. I would delete it. She will get over it!