Post # 1
I feel like its a constant power struggle with my mom, anyone else have problems with their mom & planning? I just feel SOOO alone & like I have to give into what she wants because she’s paying & I have to sacrifice what me & my FI want for our wedding. I think she’s at the point where she is going to give me the money & just not help me plan. (We are DIY-ing most of the stuff). She’s upset that I want my FI parent’s names on the invitations (they are paying for flights, honeymoon -$3k, alcohol, and a shower) and they are very supportive, so I don’t see why they shouldn’t be on there. And she’s mad that I want them on there… So that’s the issue apparently. & the fact that my 3 yr old nephew isn’t the ring bearer (he’s bringing the bible to the pastor- so he’s walking with the ring bearer) I don’t get that at all.
I also live at home, so it’s a little awkward & I don’t know how to fix it or at least keep the peace. 🙁 I mean she’s my mom and I love her but I don’t want her to desert me. SUPER STRESSED
Anyone with me?
Post # 4
Oh yeah, I think I commented on that. It is out of control.
Post # 5
Yup, my mum basically went batshit crazy about the wedding. She was constantly thinking my FMIL was more involved than she was, accused me of loving them more than her, etc – and when we chose a venue closer to their place than my parents’ it got worse.
I won’t go into detail because I have a thread in here talking about the gory stuff but needless to say it became abusive – and now neither of my parents are coming at all.
I do have to say that despite the awful upset planning the wedding has been a lot easier since!
My advice, more than anything, is DO NOT LET IT FESTER. Say something. My biggest regret from all of this is that I hadn’t called my mum out on her behaviour sooner and nipped it in the bud before it got completely out of control.
Stand your ground – this is your wedding. She loves you, and if she really understands then she will give in – and if she doesn’t understand, you need to be firm but nice. You appreciate their help, etc, but this is your wedding and the details are yours to plan!