- 6 years ago
Hi Bees, I’m a regular poster but am going “anon” for personal reasons. I have a problem and would like different views on the matter. My sister just had a baby anout 2 months ago, and my grandmother has not seen the baby yet due to limited mobility. My mom called me last night and asked if I could pick my grandmother up on Sunday and take her to my sister’s house to see the baby, then bring her back. My mom is taking my grandmother away this weekend, they are going to see and show and go sightseeing. My mom is bringing my grandmother back home late Sunday morning/early afternoon. I told my mom I would have to get back to her. FI and I live together and share one car. At that point, she got upset with me.
A little background: My sister lives about an hour- an hour and a half away from me. My grandmother lives out of state (neighboring state), which is about 3-4 hours away from me and my sister.
My reason for telling my mom I would get back to her, is because FI is an executive chef at a very popular, private country club. The club is hosting a private party, AND a rehersal dinner on Saturday, and a wedding on Sunday. So FI will be working all weekend, all day, and probably most of the night (both days). His job is about 30 -45 minutes away from where we live.
My mom says “well why don’t you just drop him off at work and pick him up?” Well FIs schedule is hectic and not concrete at all. I won’t know when he’s getting off work, HE doesn’t even know when he’s getting off work. He’s the 1st one there and last one to leave. He works his ass off every week, long hours, and sometimes working 6 days a week. I would feel horrible if he calls and tells me he’s getting off of work, but I’m still at my sister’s which would be about 1 hr and 45 min drive. Or worse, I’m taking my grandmother back or on my way back from dropping her off at home. That would be a 3-4 hour drive back! I explained this to my mother but she still got upset and called me selfish and lazy.
A little more background: My sister and her husband owns 4 cars and they travel alot (and enjoy it). My sister and/or husband has driven to my grandmother’s to help her out when my mom couldn ‘t (grocery shoping, doctor’s appt, ect.) My mom’s arguement is we should all be pulling our weight to help my grandmother out, and my mother, siser and her husband should not be the only ones doing this. And I totally agree and understand where she’s coming from. Believe me, I would if I could! My mother then went on to say “Ill remember this, the next time you ask me for a favor”. I was a bit hurt she would say that! First, I haven’t asked my mom for ANYTHING for the last 5 years. Although she is helping us out with the wedding, she offered ( I never asked). So I was upset after that conversation.
I spoke with FI about it, and he didn’t think it was a good idea. He said he doesn’t know what time he’ll be getting off work. I asked if maybe he could call one of his buddies to get him if I’m not back in time, but he didn’t feel comfortable calling one of his buddies at 1 or 2 o’clock in the morning on a Sunday (or I gues it would be a Monday) to come and get him from work.
So bees, I ask….what would you do if you were in my shoes? I haven’t given my mom an answer yet….Thanks so much for reading!! Sorry, this post is so long!