(Closed) Mom threatening to not attend wedding

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Wow. That is really amazing. How could she do that to her own daughter? Is she paying for the wedding?

If I were you, I would probably just walk myself down the aisle then. And if they choose not to come because of it then…not much you can do about that. It’s your wedding and if you’re not comfortable having him walk you down the aisle, then you shouldn’t have to do that.

Do you really think she wouldn’t show up? That would be so horrible. And she’d regret that forever.

I’m sorry she’s putting you through that.

Post # 4
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t really have any advice to give you, but I wanted to say that my mom has also threatened not to come to the wedding but that was if I invited my dad.  They had a very rough divorce, and my mom won’t speak to my dad, in fact, my dad barely speaks to any of us.  When mom says things like that to me, I usually just say “yeah, yeah” and ignore her.  She has changed her mind several times, but in the end, it’s your wedding.  Would you be willing to walk down the aisle alone?  That’s what I’m doing.

Post # 5
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I doubt she’ll actually miss your wedding because of that.  More likely she’s trying to bully you into giving her what she wants.  One day she’ll realize that your wedding should be about what you want, so walk by yourself if you have to, or just threaten to until she changes her mind.  It’s beyond lame that she’s putting you through this in the meantime, though – weddings bring out the crazy in everyone.

Post # 6
Member
1124 posts
Bumble bee

Woah! It sounds like she’s making a big stink over nothing. No one is going to think it’s disrespectful! I really can’t believe she called you and freaked out like that! It’s modern times – brides are having all sorts of unconventional aisle walks. You could consider walking yourself down the aisle… I mean, FH is walking me! She’s acting like a child if she’s threatening not to show because of that little detail.

Post # 7
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Sorry to hear about that 🙁  That is really cruel of her.  If she skips the wedding, that will reflect really badly on HER.  So if she’s really that concerned with what everyone thinks, I don’t think she’ll follow through on the threat.  But do you have anyone else who could walk you down in case she does decide not to go?

Post # 8
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Remind it will look bad to other people if she won’t show up. Believe me, I’m a drama queen. So in my mind I think, “Well if my parents are being so annoying about this then I’m just going to the court house and leaving their money be”. Can you tell I’m a brat. But snce I think what your mom is actually doing–I know how to get around it. (Wow I sound really bad). So basically if she threatens not to come to the wedding then I would be like, fine… don’t come. I’ll walk by myself! I wonder what she would do then?

I only mention this advice because you said she has done this more than once. If she wants it her way or the highway, give her the highway option and see if she comes crawling back. She needs to compromise at some point.

I guess you could be the bigger person. And it would probably make the situation better. My advice is probably like the worse thing ever. But still…

Post # 9
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I am so sorry. That is really immautre of her. I doubt anyone will be offended if you walked with her or on your own. If she chooses not to come because of that, she will regret it and if that’s case, I feel sorry for her. She really should be honored!

Post # 12
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would stick to your plan and say “screw it” she can’t keep controllign you with threats.  You have to show her you are serious so she knows you mean business.  Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

A different situation but when I asked my stepfather to walk me down the aisle my mother threatened not to come to the wedding. Did she come? Yes. I told her that was that and I wanted her to come to the wedding but couldn’t force her. In the end, she’ll probably come, so just do your best not to let it stress you out (which I know is SO much easier said than done).

Post # 14
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Could you have them BOTH walk you down the aisle? Many brides do that… I probably will, my sister did (and my mom said she enjoyed it.. which means I have to, too!)

Eck. Good luck~ At least your FI is standing by you

Post # 15
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Be strong. Call her bluff. Don’t negotiate with emotional terrorists. 🙂 

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