Post # 1
I’m not sure what to do about my mom. She is really wanting my fiance and I to do some sort of sand/candle unity ceremony at our wedding. My fiance and I have talked about it, and we really don’t want to do one. We don’t have anything against them, we just don’t want one. They don’t really have a special meaning for us, you know? Her argument is that they are a way to unite the families and it’s something that she gets to do in the wedding. My dad gets to give me away and she doesn’t have any part in the rest of hte wedding, plus the unity ceremony kind of combines the family (her words, not mine). Now I think that the actual wedding is what unites the families, but that’s just me.
I guess my question is if you know of anything else that we can do (besides a sand/candle/wine type ceremony) that would include our moms in the ceremony? I thought about maybe asking her to do a reading, but I am not totally sure we are going to have somebody do a reading. Any thoughts??? I want to make her happy, but I don’t want to do something during my vows that really holds no meaning for me or my fiance.
Post # 3
@CrochetLulu: Maybe there’s a way to do a handfasting ceremony that includes them?
Post # 4
Maybe have the mothers write sealed letters for you to open on your first wedding anniversary. This would give them something to do and you could seal the letters with letters you and FH write to each other. It would be quick and not distract from the ceremony.
I also hate unity ceremonies. They just aren’t for me.
Post # 5
I really am so not enthused by unity ceremonies. I mean really, what do you do with a bottle of colored sand for the rest of your lifes?
I went to a wedding where the mom’s stood with their children and in a Bulgarian tradition fed them bread dipped in honey as a good luck charm. I could see doing something with both of the mom’s like both coming up and saying a special prayer or even in a twist have them bring the rings up and bless them before giving them to you to put on each others fingers.
Post # 6
why dont both of your parents give you away?
Post # 7
I’m not doing a unity ceremony, I personally think they’re tacky (Opinion!).
It’s your wedding, and while yes you are joining families, it’s your wedding and your mother does not need to play some big role in it.
I’m walking down the aisle with both parents because while yes, it is a Jewish tradition (mom’s side is Jewish but this is the only tradition we’re carrying over) I also believe that both my parents raised me equally and I want them both to give me away, not just my father.
Do what you want, at the end of the day it is you and your husband’s day.