- 8 years ago
FI and I are paying for the wedding. We’ve been really particular with the guest list and only inviting either close friends and/or family that has played a significant role in our life. We both have people we’d love to invite, but are not, because we can’t let it get out of hand (financially). We are at about 150 guests.
My mother, on more than one occasion, has asked if I’m inviting “Jane”. She said – well, Jane asked if she was being invited. I said – then tell her NO.
Jane has been around our family for decades. She’s the sister/sister-in-law to a family that we’d been super close with growing up. Jane does NOT get along with her sister-in-law and, i seems, they have always avoided each other like the plague.
I don’t want to invite Jane because she has a very loud personality and, quite frankly, annoys me anytime I have a conversation with her (always bragging about this, that, or the other thing).
However, she has taken up interest in my mother and the two of the have been spending a lot of time with each other (over the last couple years). My mother does not have many friends and I’m sure she’d consider her to be her best friend.
I also see their relationship as kind of my mom wanting to be friends with the popular girl in school – ie: all of a sudden talking about things that she wouldn’t before (because Jane likes it) or doing things (because Jane does them)…..
I was chatting with my mom yesterday and she was going over to Jane’s house that evening and asked again if Jane could be invited to the wedding. My mom said: “I’m not going to have any friend’s there!” – to which I somewhat bit my tongue and said: What are you talking about?!? and that was the end of the conversation.
All her family, plus all our family friends will be there. These people make up about 1/3 of the guest list! She’s acting like she’ll know no one there.
Part of me thinks she wants to show off and show Jane that her family can have a big party (my mom’s always telling me about what Jane’s adult kids are doing – so, I’m sure they are talking back and forth).
I’ve also seen my mom and Jane at an extended family wedding – my mom ignored everyone else, just to hang out with Jane. I’m also concerned about Jane’s sister-in-law (who I want there) and making her feel uncomfortable with her presence. I know there would be other’s that were uncomfortable with Jane being there.
Ok – LONG background – but, here’s my issue. I’m inviting all my single guests with a +1, because I’ve appreciated it when I get an invite like that. My mother is single (a widow) – so, should I give her the same courtesy of inviting a guest of her choosing??