- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
So, I am not super close with my mom. I’ve tried… a lot.. but she’s just not the type of person who is warm and fuzzy and gets close to people. She’s very angry and uses me as an emotional punching bag when I’m around… It’s been like this my whole life. She kicked me out when I was 12 because she thought I was flirting with her boyfriend (my now stepfather), but not before throwing furniture at me and being just generally emotionally abusive.. So… as I became an adult and got some freedom of my own… I’ve drifted away a bit (though I still keep in touch / talk to her every week or two, etc).
I’ve done everything I could to get her excited about my wedding. My dad passed away a year ago, so I asked her to walk me down the aisle. I’ve begged her to go dress shopping. I’ve talked to her about themes… colors… venues… her dress and hair… makeup… etc.
She doesn’t care about anything. She had no desire to go dress shopping with me, when I tried on my dress for her she just said “mmhmm very nice” and started talking to a bridesmaid about her pregnancy. Add to that the fact that my stepfather constantly tells me there is no reason to get married and that he doesn’t even want to go to the wedding, and it’s a nasty situation.
At first this hurt SO much that I was getting sick over it but I’ve finally moved passed it. I’m not letting them ruin my day and taint the first day of my marriage to my fiance wiith their negativity.
SO she texts me the other day and says “I have the perfect song for your first dance for you and your stepdad”. I had to reread that text a time or two because I hadn’t been planning to dance with the man who, just the week prior, was telling me he couldn’t believe I was getting married again when I didn’t manage to get it right last time”. (I got married young when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter… didn’t work out…. been divorced for quite some time).
So I just respond with “Well I hadn’t been planning on doing a dance with him because he said he doesn’t want to go, so I figure even if you manage to get him there, the last thing he wants is to dance.”
So she responds and says “Oh please. Go download the song “Like My Mother Does”… it will be great for your first dance”.
So aside from the obvious fact that it’s a song about a mom during a father / daughter dance.. the song is all about this woman who completely worships her mother.
“I never met a stranger I can talk to anyone Like my mother does I let my temper fly And she can walk away When she’s had enough “
“She’s a rock She is grace She’s an angel She’s my heart and soul She does it all “
I couldn’t find a song MORE unlike my mom if I tried. And now I don’t know what to do. I’m torn b/c I have wanted her to have opinions and get involved… and now that she finally has… it’s basically to give herself and undeserved ego trip! I feel like I”m being a hypocrite and a spoiled bride… but I just don’t think I could keep a straightface and have that song play at my wedding.