- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I need some advice, so here goes…
My fiance is a straight up momma’s boy and it is getting to the point where it is ruining our relationship. Every weekend it is a constant arguement about us having to go see his mother! I mean really, every weekend?! He will constantly put his mother before me! In fact funny story, we went to a bridal show, which I invited his mother – huge mistake. First, we had to go out of our way to pick her up. Second, as soon as we arrived there she went off did her own thing and guess who was with her the entire time? Here’s the funny part, one of the vendors thought he and his mother were getting married of course she got offended, but that’s besides the point.
I feel that now we are coming close to the wedding (about 2 months), she is constantly calling him to come over and do stuff around the house, she needs help with this, that and the other. What annoys and aggravates me is that he will stop whatever he is doing and go tend to her every need. It’s getting out of control at this point and obviously talking to him about it doesn’t work – he’s “trying to change but I need to change too.” Excuse me? Change what?! I’m all for visiting his mom, but once maybe every couple of weeks! Not every damn weekend!
Then he has the nerve to bring up my family and how “we always go see them”. Uh no. First of all, I only go to my parent’s house to do laundry once a week and the majority of the time he doesn’t come because guess where he is…that’s right mommy’s house. Second, yes I have a big family and we have parties, BBQ’s maybe once every couples of weeks.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. To me, it feels like I mean nothing and his mother is more important than I am. We spoke to our Priest about this and I didn’t believe it when he said it but, he agrees with me. He needs to cut the cord, otherwise this relationship will not last. Our Priest had us do this exercise – he gaves us a scenario of where my fiance, his mother, and myself are in a boat. The boat begins to sink and he can only save one of us – guess who he picked? HIS MOTHER! Again I don’t know if I am over-reacting but I started to cry, because here is this guy who says he loves me but when push comes to shove, he is always going to pick his mother over me. What should I even think about that response? How do I handle that? Is this marriage even going to last? Did I waste the last seven years of my life with this loser? I mean I don’t even know what to do anymore…
Bees, am I over-reacting here? What are your thoughts on this? Have any of you gone through this? I have suggested counseling for the two of us, but he says yea and doesn’t follow through.