(Closed) Mommy Dearest, what do I do?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1554 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

wow… that’s awful!

im so sorry you’re going through this…

i would be livid! just tell her how you felt. :/

Post # 4
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@MississippiQueen:  Can I recommend a book to you? It’s called “Adult Children of Abusive Parents,” by Steven Farmer : http://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Abusive-Parents-Emotionally/dp/0345363884/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343968920&sr=8-1&keywords=adult+children+of+abusive+parents

This might help to put some of your mother’s behavior in perspective, and to emancipate yourself from feeling let down by her. She is incapable of operating the way you hope she would, especially if she has drug / alcohol problems. 

Please do not think this is personal. She did not do this to spite you, even though the outcome directly affected you. She has a problem, and likely no amount of reasoning with her will get any remorse from her. And for what it’s worth, there’s nothing to defend yourself about. You did nothing wrong. 

I completely understand where you’re coming from though. I felt the same embarrassment when my father did not come to my wedding. Luckily no one bothered to ask me where he was; that would have been too painful. It just put into perspective for me what he is capable of, and what his priorities are. When he did not bother to walk his self addressed / stamped RSVP card to the mailbox to let me know one way or the other if he was coming, I knew how much my wedding mattered to him, in reality. I wasn’t terribly surprised when he did not show up. But it was still a giant slap in the face.

Post # 5
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

By the way, congratulations on getting married. Try to focus on the outcome of the day.  You married your love!

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