Mom's boy or is this just too much?

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Was that okay to call his mom first?
    No! I would be upset too... : (12 votes)
    32 %
    No, but no big deal : (19 votes)
    51 %
    Yes! It's his mom! : (5 votes)
    14 %
    Other : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1987 posts
    Buzzing bee

    alotlikelove:  I won’t be much help because I called my mom and talked to her when I found out I recently was offered a new position before I told my husband, lol. I wanted her and my dad’s input and advice before I spoke to him. 

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  MrsYokiman.
    Post # 4
    Member
    1582 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

     

    I’d call my mom first, too, hahah. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.

    Post # 5
    Member
    84 posts
    Worker bee

    How old is he?? Did his mom get him the job??

    Post # 6
    Member
    2882 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

     

    alotlikelove:  I guess I would need more information.  Would you have typically been available when he got done with the interview, or was it while you were at work or another obligation?  Is his mom retired, or otherwise does not have obligations when the interview was happening?  Is his mom’s home on the way to your home?

    My DH goes to his dad a lot for advice, and probably would call him after an interview, possibly before he would call me.  His dad is also retired, and I work full time.  He knows I don’t like to take personal calls at work (though, I would pick up for him)  It would be equally likely that he would go over to his dad’s place for a drink prior to coming home no mater if the outcome was good or bad.  They live closer to the downtown of our city, while we live in the suburbs, so they are kind of on his way home from most places he would interview. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    414 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Also, just to add, I always call my mom before I stop by as common courtesy. So technically I call my mom and talk to her as I’m heading to her…

    Post # 8
    Member
    851 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    alotlikelove:  I totally get where you are coming from.. my fiance would probably do the same thing! He is a total mommas boy .. but now that I have lost my mom (within the last year) I don’t get as upset with him as I used to about stuff like this.. Try and just not hold a grudge for too long.. it’s okay to be upset but in the end it doesn’t really matter who he calls first… lol. obviously that is easier said than done but life is too short to fight over small things like this!

    Post # 9
    Member
    866 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Mmm I woudl be annoyed too but in the grand scheme of things it’s not a huge deal. You are starting a life together and this is something that effects both of you, it’s not something personal for him that he wants his moms advice on rather than yours. I would tell him it bothered you, he could have at least put hER on hold to tell you!! 

    my FI pulled smth similar last week, he wa in charge of finding out the info on blocking hotel rooms but instead of discussing w me when he had the info he immitey called his mom and told her to book. Ummm no! I was pissed lol 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1305 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I get that you’re upset about it and I think you’re totally right to call him our for acting that way, but since I have been in his shoes I also get his side of the story.

    In my case it was an emergency and I had to take our daughter to hospital. Without thinking I called my mum and she took us to the hospital. I didn’t even think of calling him until we were there and waiting for the doctor..

    Post # 11
    Member
    2654 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I think more background info is needed.

    Does this happen often. Does he put his moms needs ahead of you? I’m not sure I can give any advise with just that…

    Post # 12
    Member
    559 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Actually this would bother me and I think if I called my mom before my husband with news it would bother him as well. As spouses, we come first in each other’s lives, and that extends to news or decision-making. I would probably call my husband immediately, then my mom. If I was already planning on stopping by at my mom’s place and needed to call her, I’d still call my husband to tell him about the job first.

    I think some people might not see it that way though. Probably some people would be ok with it because obviously he was going to tell you and he just happened to call her first. But it would bother me. I’m sensitive about that.

    Post # 13
    Member
    643 posts
    Busy bee

    SarahCF:  I agree. It would bother me too. I always share with my partner first.

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