Post # 1
Buzz Buzz Bees,
My mom was very sick and just died last week. We held the services on 8/4/12. My wedding is 9/21/13. I want to incorporate her in the wedding. This is so hard to plan with her being here. My grandmother is still around and I hope she will be here when I talk that walk. Everyone keeps asking “how am I doing” and it is nerve racking. How am I suppose to be doing after my mom just passed and I am planning a wedding. My dad is still here and he said nothing will keep him away. I guess I am asking for ideas to have my mom present.
Post # 3
Aww, I’m so sorry to hear that 🙁
You could put a photo or charm to represent her on your bouquet or light a candle for her at the ceremony. I’ve also seen people include loved ones who have passed in a special section on their programs.
Post # 4
I am so sorry that you lost your mom. *hugs*
Do you have a nice picture of your mom that you love? Usually people display wedding photos of their parents, but if that isn’t appropriate, your favorite picture of her in a nice frame would be great. Maybe you and your future husband could lead a toast in which you mention those who could not be with you for this joyous event. if you have something of hers that you can wear, you should.
It sounds like everyone asking you how you are doing means that they truly care. I understand how the question could get annoying. I would say something like “I’m managing, thanks for asking. How are you?” until the questions become less frequent.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry sweetie. I’m sorry them asking how you are doing is getting to you, it’s hard to know what to say to someone who has been through so much, but I’m sure they just want to know that they care about you and your feelings.
Do you have her wedding gown or maybe a favorite shirt she had? could always incorporate a piece of that into your own wedding gown. Some people have special charms they add to their bouquet to have them with them when they walk down the aisle. I saw some people reserve a special seat in honor of the person, I think that would upset me but if it helps you, go for it. Every wedding we’ve had in our family, a family member placed a memorial card for my grandmother (paternal) on the sweetheart table to show that she’s with us in spirit. My maternal grandmother meant a lot to me, so I’m wearing one of her necklaces that day.
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center
My father passed away about four months before the wedding. I had section of the program in which we did a memory section, we did a memorial table at the reception, and I carried a charm on my bouquet that had a picture of my father. I know that I would have felt his presence on that day even without the memorial items, but it made me feel better to see the tangible items. I’m so sorry for your loss, I know that it’s so hard to lose a parent and to feel so lost, but just remember that she is still going to be with you on that day.
Post # 7
I’m so, so sorry you lost your mom. My favorite ideas for honoring loved ones include reserving their chair with a framed photo, tying a ring or trinket onto the bouquet, and writing a message on a balloon at the end of the ceremony and letting it go ceremoniously. I also planned to use my parents’ original wedding vows as a nod to my mom should she lose her battle with cancer before my wedding.
Post # 8
so incredibly sorry for your loss. big hugs to you and your family xo
Post # 9
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing your mother is hard. In terms of others, it’s really difficult for some people to express sympathy. Maybe if you try to think that when they ask how you are doing, they really are saying that they care about you. I believe that people truly do care. They just don’t know how to show it.
In terms of honoring your mom there are a few things I can think of. I wore a bracelet that was my mother’s. You could have a reading or poem during the ceremony. Did she have something like that she loved? For example, my favorite piece of music is Canon in D.
You could do a memory table at reception. This could have some favorite pictures of you and your mom together. You could have a candle with some of her favorite flowers arranged around the candle. I think a sign or plaque with something like- in love and honor of my mother who is with me today in spirit and my heart.
Again, my deepest condolences to you. Allow yourself time to grieve. A heartfelt hug to you.
Post # 10
My mom died about four months ago and my wedding is the week before yours 9/14/12.
I’m not sure how we’re incorporating things, either. My engagement ring was her engagement ring, so that’s one thing. And I’ve been thinking of getting something sewn into the dress. That’s all I have so far.
People asking how I was doing was so.annoying. I shut myself off for several weeks and tried avoiding people at all. I know they were just concerned, but it wasn’t really something I wanted to discuss with anyone. So I get what you’re saying.
Post # 11
I am so sorry for your loss! Hang in there!
Post # 12
I’m so sorry to hear that. I understand what it feels like since my grandmother died 3 months ago and my wedding will be empty without her; she was my mother for 17 years while I lived in her house and was one of her kids. Hang in there, your family will celebrate your love no matter what.
Lots of hugs from me
Post # 13
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. This must be a really difficult time for you and I wish you the best!
Here are some ideas:
I’ve seen some brides add a locket with a picture to their bridal bouquet.
One bride sewed a heart into the inside of her dress with a piece of fabric from her dad’s old shirt.
You can see if there’s any jewelry you can wear of hers – perhaps her wedding band on a necklace around your neck or maybe use it as your wedding band and the one you have already picked out can be a 2nd band?
You can include a picture of her with some flowers and candles.
You can also do a sky lantern – I actually really love this idea the best and I plan on doing it for FI’s mom who he lost when he was 15.
Post # 14
I am having pics of my parents (both deceased) displayed at the reception.
Many hugs and my condolences on the loss of your Mom.
Post # 15
*Hugs* So sorry you lost someone so special to you, especially right before an event that you would want her to be present at.
My grandmother passed away just over 8 years ago (I actually had to count that out, I really can’t believe it!) and I really wanted to incorporate her in some special way. I made a bouquet charm that’s a picture frame with her picture in it. I also was going to ask that a certain song was played during communion for our mass – a church song that had special significance to her but that isn’t often played – but I realized that if I hear that song I am going to cry, and cry hard. I play it on the piano sometimes when I’m alone, and I always have a good cry with it. So I had to change that idea. I would be a mess if that was played at our mass. So, I suggest NOT playing any special songs during the mass, because that might make you overly sad during a time when you need to focus on being happy. Just my advice. But find something special, something that helps you feel like she is present and that you are honouring her. Good luck!
Post # 16
@steffy921: I’m sorry to hear about your mom. My mom just passed away in June and it has been very difficult to do anything, much less go ahead with wedding planning. It is also annoying for people to ask about “how you are doing” because they want to hear you are okay, regardless of how you actually are feeling. I like the idea of bouquet charms and wearing a piece of her jewelery. I know for me, pictures and songs would be too overwhelming, but you know what you are comfortable with. I know that you will be able to find a special way to honor your mom.