Be honest with your Mother. This is one of those traditions I never gotten. Tell her you didn't want to hurt her feelings, but you want a dress that fits you and your personality, the dress shopping experience, all which she got to experience.
I have seen bees who compromise by having parts of the dress incorporated into their wedding dress, or using the material to make a veil. I also seen a few people who had it altered and used it to wear to their wedding events like the rehearsal dinner, or a second dress for the party. Then one bee honored her mom by taking pictures in her mother's dress. I think the sooner you do it the better.
Would Mom be open to alterations on her dress or the destruction of her dress? If so is there anyway to incorporate aspects of her dress into yours even if it's just fabric from her dress wrapped around your flowers. Could you wear her veil? If Mom is just asking about you wearing her dress as is, tell her honestly you love her dress for her, but it's not what you're looking for.
I agree with PP's, especially about the dress shopping experience! Just tell her that you've always looked forward to going with her to pick out your own. Also maybe just tell her "You know mom I do think your dress is beautiful, but I think with those lace sleeves and the beautiful long train, it will be too heavy for an August wedding in AZ. I think I should pick out something different."
@TwoCityBride: Be honest with your Mother. This is one of those traditions I never gotten. Tell her you didn't want to hurt her feelings, but you want a dress that fits you and your personality, the dress shopping experience, all which she got to experience.
I agree with this completely.
These 90's gowns have lots of fabric. Save it to make a baby's blessing or christening gown. I made one for my sister's grand baby using her gown
My mom's dress was ruined (she put it in the wash) so wearing it was never an option. But I did ask her if she thought the material was still good for a wrap or something. She got rid of it but FI's mom said her's might be if the color matches.
My mom's dress was actually sleeveless with some jacket over it so I prob could have worn it.
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My mom and I were looking at her wedding album yesterday, and IT happened. She asked me if I wanted to wear her dress. While the dress is absolutly stunning and I love the honnor of being able to wear it, SHE GOT MARRIED IN 1992! When big was in! Her train is 14 feet long and it is a mix of satin and lace. I live in Phoenix, AZ and we are planning on an August wedding - it has long sleeves on it... Now, I am planning on a lace dress, it is a bit much for my taste. So, how do I tell my mom that I want my own dress. I so do NOT want to hurt her but it's not anything I am looking for! Or, do I just wear the dress??..