Post # 1
About a week ago I posted about how my boyfriend was refusing to look at some extremely decent priced jewelry eventhough we’ve had many great talks about the future (see this post http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/progress-or-cold-feet). I took it as he was balking and wasn’t ready, my besty took it as he knows what he wants to get me so he’s not going to waste his time looking at anything else, and my coworker thinks he already has a ring.
I told my mom the story last night and said that my besty could be right because he and I have discussed what I want (Emerald cut solitaire on a plain band) and she’s like “that’s what my husband’s late wife had”. (Backstory – my mom remarried just over a year ago to a man she went to highschool with growing up. He lost his wife to a congenital heart defect and brain aneurism two years ago in November. They had 20 amazing years together where they adopted a child together as she was unable to have her own because it would be too much stress on her heart. For awhile, he still kept her final wedding set on his nightstand, which has since moved to the dresser, and now the ring dish is empty…) Anyways – I asked her if she would take a picture of it if she found it so I could get an idea of how that carat weight looks in real life.
When she found out that it was no longer on the dresser, she apparently went to BlueNile and built a few rings and then posted the pictures on MY FACEBOOK WALL. After some jesting and oohing and ahhing I told her to take them down before people got ideas (especially SO in case it would come off pushy). Well, SO did see them, but wasn’t upset, and when I explained that my mom’s husband’s late wife had the setting and cut we talked about, he says “ooh, pretty”, and walks away.
So, I send my mom a text saying “Ps, J totally saw the pics. Told him about C’s ring and he said ‘pretty, LOL'”. Her following responses are what makes up the title of this email.
Me: Good job!
Mom: I don’t think J is backtracking. I think your coworker is right.
Mom: Sleep good little angel.
Me: What? How can you say that and follow it up with goodnight? You’re awful
Mom: Well… I’m just saying
Me: Guess we’ll see, but I highly doubt it
Mom: BTW.. I’m a fairly good wedding planner
Me: SILENCE WOMAN!
Mom: You have been waiting a long ass time. If it wasn’t for your age I would be saying… WTF?? He’s got a plan. No worries.
Me: Do you know something I dont? Don’t ruin the surprise if you do!!
Mom: Oh, see how you are?? I was dropping it, but NOooooo
Me: That was you dropping it??
Mom: earlier I tried
Me: You’re awful…Turning my phone off now! Good night
Mom: He’s a pretty good egg. He’ll drive you crazy for many moons
Me: Not as much as you are right now!!! LoL
Mom: But why??? I just made you pretty pictures *blink blink blink*
…And a few other hints of grandchildren and blah blah blah… but WTF?! Think she’s just blowing smoke?
Post # 3
As a rule… I didn’t bring this up to my mom, but just once.
“Hey mom, if ELM and I get married… would you and dad possibly be up for paying for a wedding?”
Mom: “Can’t you”
Me: “Not if we invite ALL the family”
Mom: “Well, I guess… why… are you getting married?”
Me: “Maybe next fall?”
Mom: “Oh, ok”
And then, my 16 yo brother in the back seat (we were in the car): “Uhhh… Kim… you’re not ENGAGED”
Post # 4
@kimbean: Firstly I’d like to thank you for reading my novel 🙂
And I know what you mean. SO and I have been together for 6 years and a lot has happened in that time, and she’s been wonderful about coaxing me off the “waiting” edge many-a-time. I think she might just be getting excited and antsy that each year longer we’re together, and being privy to the conversations he and I had, that it may happen.
I think you’re right though, I may need to cool it on mom’s advice for awhile. I don’t want to ramp myself up too much. My gut feeling has me in serious denial of any progress for several years and it’s the only thing keeping me sane for now.
Post # 5
My OH asked for my parents blessing and now my Dad keeps teasing him about it, my OH and my family have a great relationship so my Dad thinks it’s okay to taunt him all the time (IE when he asked for their blessing he said my dad asked him to give a presention of his plan for the next ten years and to answer ten question, if his presention and question answers were good enough he would get the blessing – obviously joking but still! Poor boy!)
I think parents like to have fun at their childrens expense – no matter how much they know!
Post # 6
@sleepingbeauty88:Maybe he knows all this and is waiting until you’ve calmed down to ask?
It sounds silly, but that’s a backwards thing that I think guys would do. You know, to make sure you want “him” and not just the “hype” or the “party”. I love my mom SO much (as I’m sure you do too), but she’s… like me, or maybe I’m like her. We both tend to LOSE it in the face of crisis or anxiety.
Think about another time that you had to go through something, who was there for you? For me, I got laid off in October, and it absolutely crushed me. My mom lost it more than I did and put me in crisis mode (I KNOW she was just worried about my, and how I’d take care of myself, but it didn’t help!) I have a VERY good friend that totally picked up the pieces, and now she’s part of “Ringwatch 2k11” with me.
Maybe just aim the more positive thoughts to your mom, but save your anxieties for the Bee or someone else?
Post # 7
Maybe she does know something, like he has spoken to your parents. I dont know why she would say something to get your hopes up if she didnt know something.
Post # 8
@kat2014: “I think parents like to have fun at their childrens expense – no matter how much they know!”
THIS! I think you hit the nail on the head. I really think she’s just teasing me. That is exactly how our relationship is.
Post # 9
@organizedbride11: You know, I thought this too! My mom would totally be the one to burst at the seams to hint at something like that. She had me when she was 18, so we really grew up together and are a lot more like sisters, especially since I’m older, than mother and daughter. But at the same point I would think that she might be able to hide it because she’d want me to be surprised. Oh…. who knows! Right now I’m just telling myself that it was just a funny, teasing conversation.
Post # 10
Wow, your moms sound way more supportive than mine. My mom is so rushed with waiting and wanting to plan a wedding (she’s contributing but not a lot, and that’s fine)- her best friend’s daughter just got engaged this summer- it’s really all my mom talks about… :/
Well, she found out that my boyfriend is planning my proposal on a upcoming trip 6 months away. Now, she says, “that’s stupid- he’s wasting money- he should just propose now.” Granted, my mother loves my boyfriend (she can be a bit harsh, lol) she’s very blunt)… but really?! “Mom, you’re making waiting MUCH harder for me- when you’re so negative about it.” I told her that, she still doesn’t get it!
Post # 11
@DaisyCakes: Ouch! That is harsh! On the bright side though no more waiting after 6 months?! That’s exciting! 🙂
Post # 12
@sleepingbeauty88: I agree with your best friend. He probably has his mind made up.
I’m also guessing that he knows what you REALLY want and that while you’d be happy with a more economical selection, in your heart, you still want your emerald cut soitaire.
Maybe you could show him the JamesAllen website. There are some nice Emerald cuts at good prices. 🙂
Post # 13
@sleepingbeauty88: Sorry… I thread jacked a little! :O But I am excited about our trip! 🙂 I think it’s cute that you’re mom’s excited!
Post # 14
@sleepingbeauty88: And I thought my mom was the only one! 😀
Post # 15
My mum is an absolute nutter!! I once mentioned that we were thinking of getting married and she actually EMAILED venues to get prices. My Dad had to calm her down because she was really being crazy about it all. At least I know where I get it from!!!
I think your mum was just teasing you – whether she knows anything or not, but shes having fun with you 🙂
Post # 16
@CupcakeLove: oh wow! you win! your mom is worse. I think if my mom did that I’d be like WTF woman!?