Post # 1
My Darling Husband and I are planning to start TTC in a few months. I definitely want kids, but I’m not going to lie I’m terrified! It’s strange to go your entire teenage/adult life trying to prevent pregnancy and then all of a sudden trying to cause it!
I’m scared of the pregnancy itself, delivery, losing the freedom I have in my current child-free life, etc. I hate how I break out and have greasy hair/skin when I’m off of BC. But I know there are obviously many many positives to having children!
I’m the youngest on both sides of my family and don’t really have much experience with children, so I think this is supporting my fears. But Darling Husband and I both want a family and I am excited, despite everything else I’m worrying about.
So moms (or dads!) out there, care to share some of what you love about being a parent? Or even the struggles. I need some real-world experience/advice!
Post # 2
When my daughter was first born, those first two or three weeks were very, very challenging. This was mostly because I was having major trouble breastfeeding, which was in turn causing me to be extremely stressed out and depressed. But then I started to find my footing, and things got easier and easier, and now my Dirty Delete is 10 months old and I can’t imagine my life without her!
Every day she gets a little bit easier to handle. She learns better how to play by herself, so I can set her loose in the house while I work in the kitchen. Darling Husband and I can actually sit and watch movies or binge-watch our favorite TV shows — I just sit on the floor with Dirty Delete as she plays. I try to still get out of the house and do some of the normal things we used to enjoy, but bringing Dirty Delete along — like bringing her to beer festivals and setting up her blanket on the grass with toys, or bringing her to restaurants and learning a new trick every time to make her more manageable so we can actually enjoy our meal.
I can’t even describe how much I love her. I hug and kiss her constantly. I am so happy to see her every morning, and when I pick her up from daycare every evening. She is such a sweet, happy baby, and she has brought so much joy into my life. Things are different, for sure — oftentimes, things Darling Husband and I would go and do together, instead I just send him as a representative of both of us while I stay home and play with the baby. But I know that as she gets older and gets easier to babysit etc. (I wouldn’t let my 13 year old neighbor watch her just yet, but when she’s older and less work, then I totally will), then I can reemerge back into the world and I won’t have missed much.
What do I love about being a parent? I love how happy Dirty Delete is to see me EVERY SINGLE TIME I walk into a room. Even if I’ve just run upstairs for a moment, as soon as she sees me, she smiles and waves her arms in excitement. I love how she buries her head in my lap when she’s tired. I love how she whines “mamamamamama” when she’s upset and needs Mama to comfort her. I love how she does weird things and then if I laugh, she does the weird things over and over again because she likes making us laugh. Even when it’s something gross, like blowing a snot rocket and then sucking it back in — when your kid does it intentionally to make you laugh, you love it.
In short, being a parent is just amazing 🙂
Post # 3
Your feelings are totally normal. I think every rational person experiences worries like this.
What I love: despite the complications, I love how amazing pregnancy is. I enjoy knowing I am growing a person. The moment of giving birth was also amazing and something indescribable.
In terms of parenting, I love how I feel like I was made to be Mommy, even if that was something I once never thought was what Id do with my life. I love how important I am to my Dirty Delete. I love watching her learn and experience everything for the first time. I love how much she makes me laugh. I love watching my hubby be daddy to her. I love how our relationship as parents has added a whole new level of closeness to our lives and made us appreciate eachother even more. I feel a whole new kind of happiness since becoming a mom. That kid brings me so much joy and pride. She is such a good kid and I feel like Im doing things right.
As for the struggles: I struggle with how emotionally vulnerable being a mom makes me. Being a parent opens a new world of worry. Worry about something happening to yourself or baby, or if you are parenting “right.” It is also gutwrenching when your child is in pain, rejected, or struggling. It has also been challenging to have to calculate when and how to do certain tasks that I would just get up and go do before. Dirty Delete is almost 3, and potty training, so errands need to be done where there is quick access to a toilet. Im expecting baby #2 in a month and have NO idea how I will juggle housework, errands, etc. With a small baby, trips out cant be more than 2 hours….oh what fun is ahead 🙂
Post # 4
kb7: I have a 4 month old son, and there is absolutely nothing better than listening to him giggle becuase my husband is tickling his belly. So I drop whatever I’m doing, go in there, and join in the fun. My son instantly knows its me because I say hi, he turns his head, and flashes a big smile. I can’t begin to explain how much my heart swells.
Of course it isn’t always like this, but that baby has taught me a lot of patience. I have a love for him that I didn’t know I was capable of having. I didn’t think it was possible to love something or someone so much.
And, to be honest, I didn’t have hardly any experience with children. Darling Husband and I held a few babies in our time, and I don’t even care for other people’s kids. I even learned how to change a diaper the day my son was born because I had never done it before. Fears are normal, and you will never stop fearing the unknown, but eventually you will learn and grow and feel comfortable with whatever the TTC journey, childbirth, or raising a child stages have in store for you.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
What I love: Watching DS develop into his own person, with his own likes and dislikes, interests and friends, etc. He’s a teenager now, and I am so pleased with the young man that he is becoming. All of those years of parenting are finally starting to have a payoff in who he is. he’s compassionate, respectful, funny, and smart.
What I don’t love: The fact that he hoovers up all of the food in the house, that his “toys” just keep getting more expensive, that he learned how to tune me out long ago, that he has no problem wearing a dirty t-shirt out in public or leaving the house without deodorant, that his schedule runs me ragged, etc. I love him, but that doesn’t mean I have to like every single thing that he does. But in the end, it’s all completely worth it.
Post # 6
iarebridezilla: urchin: megz06: Thank you so much for your responses! We have a 9 month old puppy and while it’s obviously not the same, I think it has prepared us (me) a bit! No matter how frustrating having a small puppy is, that cute face just makes your heart melt!
Post # 7
lovekiss: Thank you so much! I’m terrified to have a baby, let alone a teenager! Although, I’m a college professor so I think I will be better with that part.
Post # 8
The first year for me was hell. Pure and unadulterated hell. No sleep, getting up two to three times a night. And, they always need you. When they started to walk and talk, I couldn’t even use the bathroom in peace.
Then they turned 5 and 6 years old and now I am in bliss. I loveeeee it. We can have conversations and actually do stuff together. They are much more independent and it has gotten much easier for me (well, with the exception of doing homework every day). I am getting ‘my life back’ so to speak. I am divorced so I also get a break every other weekend since my ex husband takes them on those days. My kids mean everything to me and even though it was super hard at first (oh yeah, and they’re really expensive to have), I won’t change a thing.
Post # 9
kb7: Honestly? I’d chose dealing with a newborn over a puppy any day. Our Saint Bernard was an awful puppy. Cute, but I’ve never locked myself in the bathroom crying because of my son, and with the dog I did numerous times. I’m not trying to downplay motherhood and babies, because it’s tough, but that’s just my experience.
Post # 10
megz06: Haha well that’s good to hear! Because I’ve definitely had mental breakdowns because of the puppy…. the cuteness does help somewhat. He’s great now, but we also live in a downtown apt which made it hard at first!
I had a very wise older friend tell me that being terrified is actually a good thing, because people who are just pure excited and think parenthood is going to be all unicorns and rainbows end up with a rude awakening, where since I’m going into it expecting the worst, then I won’t be shocked or disappointed, haha.
Post # 11
kb7: I completely agree with your friend! The people I know who were most excited for and seemingly prepared struggle the most. Then there’s me who wasn’t into the whole kid thing at all and could not love being a mom more! My daughters only 5 months so there havent really been any struggles yet! But the anxiety of worrying if something were to happen to her or yourself has been what gets to me most. The frustrations with crying and lack of sleep vanish the second she smiles at me! The most amazing thing is looking at this person you created and grew and brought into this world! And the love you have for this person is so amazing. it’s indescribable but something I wish everyone could experience!