(Closed) moms with PPD

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2005

Look you have to be able to take care of yourself before you can be of any good to your family and they have to understand that.  It’s not like you are going off to expensive spa’s and wasting time getting drunk with lady friends.  You are running.  You are getting clean air and working out to release stress…and being a mother is stressful. 

If your IL’s are getting to you then you need to see about distancing yourself from them or making it clear that you are having concerns that you need to deal with and while they may not understand it, they need to support you and not hinder you.  Some parents get so overworked and stressed or don’t take care of their depressions that they end up hurting themselves or worse, their child.  The fact that you notice you need help and are doing what you can to alleviate some of the stress makes you a great mom.  Perhaps you can get a stroller for him so you can jog with him?

Post # 5
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2005

It sounds like your DH isn’t working with you to help you feel better.  When your DH works at his family’s house does he not come home at night?  If he works over there then comes home at night then he’s just like any other person with a job, you forcing yourself to go over there to be subjected to their unwanted advice an condemnation will make things worse for all involved.  It adds stress to you and they will continue to think there’s no problem, and if you speak up they may try to blame you for being too ‘sensative’. 

I know people can tell you you’re a good mom all they want but you need to think  of yourself as such first.  The very fact that you don’t just throw up your hands and give up and leave your child to the in-laws, the very fact that you do what you can to relieve the stress in a good way like running as opposed to drinking, and the fact that you are fighting tooth and nail against your depression to be there for your child, makes you a good mom.  You’re going to fall from time to time but as long as you keep picking yourself back up, you won’t be a failure.

Post # 6
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Did you recently wean?  It is apparently common to get depressed when you wean (I imagine from either bf or bottle feeding since either results in reduced contact).  I included a post from a blog I read.  Maybe it applies to you, maybe not, but your son seems to be the same age as her experience. 

http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/2012/02/motherhood-depression-and-weaning.html

Hope this helps!

Post # 7
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My dear, how could you think you are a bad mother? Just reading this post makes it clear to me, and to anyone with half a brain, that you have your priorities in the right place. You feel guilty leaving your son to GO FOR A RUN! For goodness’ sake! Pat yourself on the back, buck up some confidence, and get some fire in your belly! You are a loving mom, and you are doing your best. NO ONE is super woman! Do not let other people’s comments or questions shatter your inner confidence. 

I read an article recently about moms and guilt. Have you noticed how much more often Moms suffer with guilt, and not Dads? A busy career woman and mother asked her friend, how do you do this (working/ mothering balance) without feeling guilty? And she replied “I simply decided, that’s it- I am not feeling guilty about it anymore. I REFUSE to feel guilty- and it worked!” Feeling guilty helps no one. It does not help you, your marriage, your son, or your life. So let go. Take some time for yourself, go for a run. An unhealthy, guilt ridden mother who is around worrying all the time is not half as good as a mother who takes care of herself, praises herself for the good things she does, and stops beating herself up about the things she cant do. 

Post # 8
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I can’t imagthat what you are going through. But I do know that you have to take care of yourself to be a good mom. Take your son running with you when you can. With the weather shield for your stroller, the will be warm enough most daysto just keep moving forward. You are getting help and workin to get better. Just focus on that and know that your son loves you. I things will change because that is the nature of life. and things will get better if you keep working at it. Just try not to get too discouraged. 

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