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Are you worried about them fading? I never used shea butter or cocoa butter or anything and mine faded on their own. I'm still not in the great shape I was before I got pregnant though, so that has an effect on my body image.
I used to hate them but I have come to not care anymore. They are a part of who I am! My husband doesn't care about them at all, he still loves my body :)
It took me a long time to reconcile with the permanent changes in my body, even after losing the pregnancy weight I still struggled with the whole stretch mark & gravity deal. I used to be fairly 'proud' of my body, so wearing bikinis and the like were not an issue, now I am definitely more conservative with how I dress and wouldn't dream of wearing revealing clothing in public (not just because I am a parent and it feels more "appropriate" but also because of the way I view my body).
It's been 5 years since I was pregnant and though my stretch marks have faded almost entirely, I can still see them (mostly because I know what I am looking for) and on bad days it can still get me down a bit. Though I definitely do strive for a similar attitude to @cyndistar3: because like she said, my husband doesn't care a fig about them or notice them and I am happy about the fact that I have a wonderful son to show for it.
My children are teens now and most of the time I don't even think about my stretch marks (although I definitely do have them!). They will fade quite a bit.
I am sure your husband will find you just as sexy as before!
My husband and I both have stretch marks from just growing up! Both of ours are now flesh colored and barely noticable.
Mine have faded, and i kind of just got over it. Sometimes the ones on my legs bother me, but I have realized there is nothing i can do about it, and my DH still finds me sexy (i'm pretty sure, otherwise he just pretends not to notice them;) I'm joking!!!!) When I gain weight, they bother me more because they show up more, but otherwise, I don't really think about them too much!
Like you, I have stretch marks all over my stomach, sides, and down to my knees. I don't think I'll ever wear shorts again. My FI doesn't care because he knows that it's just part of being a mother and woman. I, on the other hand, care a lot. They have faded but my stomach still has "ripples;" it's not just the look but how they feel. I have come to terms with them a bit but I'm much more conservative now and I wear a spanx undershirt almost everday.
I wouldn't worry about your husband seeing them - my FI always makes me feel better when I'm being self conscious and I bet your hubby will do the same for you.
I'm not a mom yet (nor am I pregnant), but I have stretch marks on my legs, especially my thighs. I've also put on a little weigh so my stomach is a bit bigger than it used to be. Honestly though, I don't think about them much. Other than the times I happen to be naked in front of a mirror, they really don't cross my mind. DH still thinks I'm sexy as hell and if he loves my body, why shouldn't I?
DS gifted me with TERRIBLE stretch marks all over my tummy.... belly button to pubic bone ALL THE WAY ACROSS. And while they HAVE faded quite a bit, I still get the joys of saggy skin there. Before DS I NEVER EVER EVER complained about my body so I had SOME HUGE adjustment shock.
What I CAN say... is even though I wouldn't dare wear a 2-piece on the beach b/c I don't want to be "that girl".... I feel sexy bunches!
You'll have to probably find some different jeans that fit better and don't cause the extra skin to pooch over, but once you find the right clothing you'll feel so much better!
Believe it or not DH says he loves my tummy... b/c even though DS isn't his, he sees it as part of the wonderful woman I am having my son and that's enough of a turn on for him. lol
Give yourself time to adjust and then just realize that your DH still finds you to be the hottest thing ever and you should too! ;)
You can get Mustela for after pregnancy. I always have gotten it at Nordstrom, but you may be able to buy it online. Honestly, the stuff is amazing!!!! it really helps your stretch marks fade if you are self conscious about them. I am currently using the Mustela designed for pregnancy, and will use the post-partum stuff after delivery. Worth a shot!
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... did you ever feel sexy/confident again?
They didn't bother me so much when there was a baby in there, but now that shes here... I feel disgusted with my stretch marks.. and I'm not talking about a few here and there... they are everywhere and its horrible. my husband will probably never see the area between my boobs to my knees nude again. please tell me theres hope and I'll get use to them.