Post # 1
My sister is getting married, and my mom, sister, and I went dress shopping for her at “A’s”, in the city where I live 90 miles from them. We narrowed it down to two dresses, but my sister wasn’t ready to choose. A couple weeks later my sister came out to visit me and get her hair cut, and A’s had told her they had a new stock of the designer she liked so we went and checked it out. My mom didn’t come, because she recently had major neck surgery. My sis didn’t see anything new she liked, but she tried on the same two again and ended up not liking one at all anymore the second time around and loving the other so she ordered it.
We thought my mom might be mad, and we were right! My sister told her today, and she cried and doesn’t want to talk to her. She didn’t accept my call either!
I get that mom thinks this is a special moment she missed out on, but not everything is like you see it on TV. Not necessarily looking for advice, but just venting and open to opinions and comments! I know it will blow over, and when I do talk to my mom I’m going to play the angle that we haven’t seen her *actual* gown on her yet so that will be special when we go to the first fitting, and she hasn’t chosen a veil or anything else like that yet.
Man! Drama rama!
Post # 3
i understand how your mom feels because its a great experience, i just ordered my dress and i wouldn’t go without my mom or i would wait and come back. but your sister fell in love with a dress so she can’t help the fact she ordered it. maybe what your sister can do is when she goes for a fitting, have your mom go with her, i understand she can’t get the moment back but maybe that can ease her hurt.
Post # 4
Dear god people go so bent about things that aren’t worth it. It’s not like she missed the wedding. Your Mom will just have to move on and look forward to something else. Your ideas to placate her are good, and talk up the next things. Mom needs to let this go.
Post # 5
My mom would’ve been upset too and trust me- my mom is not a very sentimental person.
Post # 6
What a shame your mother feels that way! That is really hard, and what stress on your sister. Maybe your mom doesn’t realize that she did in fact already see the dress your sister ordered? Did I read that right, that your sister ended up getting the dress that she had tried on when your mother was there? The truth is that everyone won’t be present for every special moment/choice for the wedding. Hopefully your mother can understand that there will be so many more special moments to come that she can join in on! And your sister hasn’t chosen the veil and necklace and technically the dress isn’t ready yet and will look different after alternations. Good Luck!
Post # 7
I tried dresses on with my mom and picked one. ANd then I went home and bought used from a bride on my own. Once I got it though, I had my mom come over to see the dress and try it on for the first time. Maybe once it comes in your mom can go with for fittings and that will make her more involved.
It really is a shame that she got so bent out of shape, especially since she was there when your sister originally tried it on.
Post # 8
I am lucky it never occurred to my mom that she might want to go. Lol.
Post # 9
Remind your mother that she was there when your sister “found” the dress and that nothing was done to her on purpose. Remind her that the wedding planning is FILLED with moments that she will share with your sister, and that the most important moments are at the wedding itself. Then let her help pick veils and shoes so she chills even though I personally think she should have kept her hurt to herself rather than putting that on you 2.
Post # 10
Wow, LLike a pp said, did your mom realize your sister bought the dress your mom already saw? It’s not like your mom was even buying the dress…hopefully she’ll get over it soon. Makes sure she is involved in the first fitting. I guess your sister should also find out where else your mom wants to participate!
Post # 11
Thanks everyone for the comments! Yes, it is the dress she saw! She admitted it was her favorite over the other choice as my sister was prepping her for the announcement. We all loved this dress, though my sister was favoring the other but she’s since switched venues and this dress will be more formal and appropriate.
Yeah, my sister was expecting a congratulations and a hug rather than tears. So of course now *she’s* mad at my mom! (ha! but it will blow over..esp mom’s bday is in two days so we will be there making nice lol) She still hasn’t talked to me but my dad has reported she’s been saying we/he can’t understand.
A slight complication is that my mom had wanted to come for the trip, but my sister spent a 13 hr day out here with me incl. 3 hours in the car and with my mom’s recent surgery it wasn’t going to work. And since then, she randomly got this weird virus and she was actually lying in a hospital bed when my sister told her! (Even tho she was comfortable and they were chatting and browsing bridesmaid wear happily.) So yea, my poor mom. Like many have said, you can’t win’em all! There will be plenty more magic moments (and there’s always my wedding dress search! haha!) What was my sister to do? Leave empty handed for a second time, pretend she didn’t make up her mind, and fake a third visit another 90 mi from home? Or go home without it and call in the order after consulting my mom? (What’s the difference at that point?). Oh well! Everyone will adjust, haha.
Post # 12
sry to bump my own post..but wow..today’s mom’s birthday and not only has she still not talked to us she announced (through my dad) that she is not celebrating it and that i shouldn’t come home. so fine, i didn’t. now that’s worth it……
Post # 13
I don’t understand what her problem is, she saw the dress. She was there for the first “special” time it was tried on. She just wasn’t there when it was ordered, who cares about being there for the ordering?!? Someone needs to tell her to stop acting like a baby, this wedding isn’t about her. Sounds harsh I know but I have a similar mom and I had to tell her to knock it off and grow up.
Post # 14
@breadandbutterflies: +1. You and your sister have done nothing wrong. Your mom is being very silly about this and I hope she snaps out of it. Hugs to you and your sister.
Post # 15
Oh geez! It’s not a big deal! She SAW the dress in person! Talk about being dramatic… *Hopefully* she’ll end this tantrum soon and stop the melodramatics!
What’s your dad’s reaction to all this? Maybe he can talk to her?
Post # 16
I went and tried on dresses by myself and bought it by myself simply because of the logistics (Mom (and actually my entire family/friends) live very far away… I tried to wait for her to get here in 2 weeks but my dress HAD to be ordered by end of August otherwise it wouldn’t have gotten here in time.. So I bought it by myself!) I took pictures and sent to her and she liked it but I wanted her to be there when I bought it..Oh well. She was okay that she wasn’t; she understands.
You’re right..not everything is like it is on TV. Sometimes real life just comes first.
I’ve come to the conclusion that my mom AND my fiance get to see me in my dress for the first time on my wedding day which will surely make her cry! 🙂 It’ll make the wedding day more special In My Humble Opinion.