Momzilla !

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee

@TanyaLeigh050414:  The best advice I have is to cut her out of the wedding planning (subtely). Don’t tell her ANYTHING you have planned- from the colors to the music. Just say “It’s a surprise, you’ll love it,” and tell her it’s been decided (even if it really hasn’t). Maybe throw her one or two things you could care less about and let her pick them out/do them, to make her feel she’s doing something. If she suggests things, tell her you’ll think about it (or of she’s really that bad, smile and nod and then do it your way anyways). 

Post # 4
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

That’s horrible.  Obviously she is making YOUR day to be about HER.   As ForeverBirds suggested.   Slowly cut her out of the planning.

A mother should let her child do what the child wants.    You are a grown woman.

Post # 5
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I agree with both the previous posters, and would add – find someone else to make you a cake in the flavour you want! It’s ridiculous that she insists on making a fruit cake in the full knowledge that you won’t eat it. My Mum also initially assumed FI and I would have at least one layer of fruit cake (we’re having three layers, each a different flavour) but when we explained that although it was traditional we didn’t want fruit cake because neither we nor the majority of our guests would eat it she just accepted it. If your Mum won’t do this, you need a new baker. She can still make her traditional cake if she wants to, but if she kicks up a fuss when she sees there are two cakes she’ll be the one who looks foolish when the majority of the guests eat the other one! 

Post # 6
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would just book, order and make decisions and tell her on a need to know basis. Or, once something’s booked. 

Post # 8
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I absolutely know where you are coming from, I’ve encountered a lot of momzilla moments too! I agree with the posters above to cut her out – FI are spending our life savings in order to not have her pay and be involved in the planning so that we can have our day the way we want it…although she has made her opinions known constantly!

At this point, some things are too ridiculous to take seriously (like not not wearing stockings under my big long dress will make me appear skanky, even though we’re not doing a garter toss and who would know?!) 

Best suggestion I’ve gotten from friends is to hold your head up high and pick the things YOU want – go get a cake you like!!! otherwise you will regret it. Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

And I had to LOL about the bridesmaids dress – that is terrible! My mom keeps insisting she wants to come to the bachelorette party!! wtf moms?!

Post # 10
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

FI’s mom is proving to be the Momzilla in our case, but I definitely feel for you! We’re still very early on in the planning stages and are just looking at venues right now. She’s gone ahead and made appointments at venues for us without even ASKING us if we want to see them (and not even in the AREA we want, but close to her home and her friends). She’s added so many random people to the guest list, too. Finally, I had FI email her yesterday and just tell her that we would find the venue and would let her know when we had it narrowed down to our final choices.

She’s also insulted my parent’s very generous contribution and told us that if we only spend 50K on our wedding, that it will be AVERAGE. Outrageous.

I’m scared for the rest of the planning! Good luck with your mom…hopefully she’ll settle down.

Post # 11
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@TanyaLeigh050414:  Order yourself another cake. Have two cakes. No sense in not liking the cake at YOUR wedding.

Post # 12
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m a 4 time MOB and she is crazy pants for sure.  I would get a second cake.  Cake was one of my top priorities at my 2 weddings and I had to love it.  Good luck to you!

Post # 13
Member
2721 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@TanyaLeigh050414:  Let’s see. My mother insulted the family owned venue by stating loudly (when they were setting up) that their dishes were not china but “pottery.” She also argued for months about having a beef entree (this place does chicken and fish much better than beef)

Post # 14
Member
2721 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@TanyaLeigh050414:  She also stated many times that she should be the maid of honor and since she wasn’t in the wedding party that she wasn’t going to do anything. My briedsmaids asked during set up, when my mother would get there and I asked “to be honest, do you really want her here during set up?”  (this was after she departed the day before and went to bed bath and beyond intending to buy china to replace the inadequate china owned by the venue (she planned to return it after the wedding)

Post # 15
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I totally understand where you are coming from. My mother acts the same way. I had to cut her out of the wedding planning process to keep me from going crazy. Now I tell her details after I already booked things.  

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