- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
My mom is great in that she and my dad have agreed to cover 90% of the wedding-related costs. As a result, I am ok with her having a 90%-sized say in the guest list and also the ceremony and reception elements food and entertainment-wise.
She asked me about BMs and initially I told her I would have 5 (including a JB). I initially thought of 6 girls, thinking that one of them who was living in Europe would say no as she told me "I hope I can come but I think it is during my exams" when she found out about the wedding date. In the meantime, I asked another girl I wanted to include.
She wrote me back today and said she will be in Canada, and she assumed she was a bridesmaid since we are cousins and we talked about it a lot as kids. I then asked her without clearing it with mom.
Oh, mom flipped out. She told me that she could not cover the cost of another dress, and I volunteered to pay for the additional dress, flowers, hair, and any increase in transportation or other costs the 6th attendant would generate. I also said that my friends were already expecting they were paying for dresses since that’s how it’s done in North American culture and only the family members of the bridal party would expect her to cover that cost according to our traditions.
She then accused me of "being the bridezilla," in her words, and claimed she didn’t want to know what kind of extravagance I would ask for next. Oh, man. She proclaimed our wedding is officially tacky and told me to choose between the sixth bridesmaid and my dress and venue. Apparently, the dress and venue are now too classy to be included in a tacky tacky 6-bridesmaid wedding.
Sigh, I was kind of attached to my dream dress but obviously I’m not going to be too picky since it’s free. Meh. Luckily, I also tried one on at David’s that I liked that was hundreds of dollars off.
I just wish that she could accept rational, logical compromises like "you want extra attendants, you pay for them"
Eloping is looking like an option. 🙂 I know it would piss the family off big time (which is why we are having a big fancy wedding in the first place, out of respect to tradition) but I just can’t deal with her total lack of logic.
Anyone else dealing with a totally irrational mom?