Post # 1
I have a very difficult mother-who doesn’t know the word “No” basically anything that she hasn’t gotten her way with, she has found a way.
Each day fiance and I pray we won’t get a call changing something or other. The wedding was supposed to be smaller, she still ordered so manyw e had to change the venue. We selected the food, she still pushed to have a different first course entree so now we have to add not only escort cards but place cards to help the waiters.
I’m tired. i’m pissed. now she’s pushing for the kids menu to have salad instead of fruit (she insists kids like salad more)
its a battle with myself . i think that’s stupid to give kids salad versus a yummy fruit cup, but then again i don’t care what they eat i’m over it. it’s just that she has to be adamant . She and my father are paying a huge percentage, so i know i have to be okay with it. I’m trying..just my patience is tested.
Post # 3
@doubtingdebbieah: I’ve never been one to believe “if parents paythey have a say”. Money is supposed to be a gift. That being said, can you pay for the wedding on your own? Or elope?
Post # 4
Take your mom out to dinner, just you 2. Tell her how you feel that you appreciate the help from your parents but that you and FI have the final say because in the end it is to celebrate your marriage not your parent’s marriage. You value her opinion on certain things and take in to consideration what she has to say.
I have two children and I can tell you that they woudl choose fruit bowls over salad.
Post # 5
My mom is kind of manipulating my wedding into going her way. My #1 thing is I don’t want to spend a lot of money since neither my boyfriend nor I make much money at all, and I’m still a student with a long way to go and if we’re going to splurge on anything, it’s not gonna be a wedding. In fact I didn’t even want a wedding at all!
She said she would give us $1000 but when I told her we were gonna have a backyard thing with pizza she kept making all these comments. She said we could have a barbeque for $1500 and that she would pay for that. I said i didn’t want a barbeque because we are both vegetarians and she made more comments. I think she knew I was irritated with her because I stopped calling her (she lives far away). Now she’s looking up vegetarian caterers in my area and saying she’ll pay for the whole thing. Whatever! I’m fine with veggie caterers.
But then I was talking about how we are starting to collect pretty thrift store plates (because this is a casual wedding and we don’t want fine china and waiters) and she’s been making little comments about that so I’m sure that’s going to be the next big thing she’s gonna try to change. I’m sure in the next month I’ll get an email comparing the cost of renting plates to thrifting them…
Post # 6
At least thrifting them, you can take them home and have a forever keepsake.
Post # 7
@doubtingdebbieah: I would actually take what @ecrowe1218: one step further. Go out for coffee/lunch/whatever. Give her a chance to look over the menu, once she orders say to the waiter “actually, she’ll have X,Y,Z”. I know it may seem harsh but I did something similar to my mom (she was doing the same as yours). She never really understood what I was saying until I put her in my shoes. She broke down crying.