- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
Beeeees. Help. My mom was down this weekend hanging out with FI and I. She’s seriously turning into a Momzilla… with a year left in planning!
“So like people keep asking me if I’m planning your wedding and I’m like no it’s not my wedding I’m already married, am I supposed to plan your wedding, what’s the etiquette because if I’m supposed to plan it then I’m going to plan it.”
I told her no, but if you pay, you have a say and since you’re not forking over a dime, you don’t have any leg to stand on in insisting something happens a certain way. However, I do look to her for advice…
“So don’t get mad at me but my friend and I went to David’s Bridal before you and I did to look at that dress you wanted to try on. She tried it on, not me, and it looked really good on her, that’s why I told you I thought it would look good on you.”
I just didn’t even have a response. I pretended to be REALLY interested in the football game after she said that. My mom basically admitted that she was too impatient to wait to see wedding dresses or me in wedding dresses that she and her friend went TO TRY ON WEDDING DRESSSES. They’re both in their 50s. I’m really heartbroken over this because I feel like that special moment of seeing me in a wedding dress was tarnished and all her surprise and awe was probably really fake.
The whole day was wedding talk and I kept saying “Mom, I just don’t know yet. It’s a year away I don’t know. You’re stressing me out about all this. Mom, it’s a year away!” I don’t like getting hateful about stuff but my tone was really sharp at times. WE ARE A YEAR OUT THERE IS NOT MUCH WE CAN DO AT THIS POINT. I told her the truth, I’m afraid to buy things because if I change my mind, I’m stuck with stuff I’m not going to use.
FI and I want a small wedding (40-50 people) and it’s been decided that it’ll be in his hometown. We’ve found the church and venue and were told to come back in 6 months to book it, that no one books stuff a year out. (It’s a very small town.)
My mom has said repeatedly that she’s okay with that but the more she talks the more it sounds like she isn’t.
I just don’t know how to handle this. I tried telling her that I was going to order a checklist planning book and revise the timelines to fit FI and I’s wedding dream. So what does she do? Opens up my laptop and pulls up amazon. I nearly yelled at her. She goes “Well I can order one for me can’t I?” Um, no.
UGH! I mean, my mom and I are pretty close but I really want her to back off. I don’t want every. single. conversation. to be about the wedding. for. the. next. 12. months. Telling her to her face, to back off, to calm down, to stop talking about the wedding, to find a different subject has not worked. What the heck am I supposed to do?