Weddingbee boards

Yes I think $75 and a pretty card is plenty.

I think it is a mistake when guests try to "pay for their ticket" by giving a gift equalling what was spent on them at the wedding. Regardless of the price of the affair, a gift should be freely given based on how dear the receiver is to them and their situation in how much they can afford to give. Similarly, a couple should not invite guests to try to recoup the costs of their wedding, but ask special people to share in the joy of their day without expecting something in return.

I think $75 is cheap. Hate to say it...especially when she's bringing a date. I would say at least $100, $150 is better. We went to a Chinese wedding last year; they were our good friends...our group of friends gave at least $200 (per couple) to the couple.

I think your sister should give when she can afford.

Keeping in mind that the point of having guests is to entertain them not get gifts from them!! I really don't see the need to give extravagant gifts at weddings, especially considering most couples are already established and have jobs and houses. I think couples need to focus less of what they're getting for their wedding and more on enjoying the ceremony of their union and the presence of their friends and family.

I'm sure whatever your sister gives will be sufficient. I see no problem with $75, but that's my personal opinion!

good luck :)

I have a different take on this. While I think $75 is more than fine, I don't agree with the OP's assumption that because the couple is not registered does not mean they are fishing for cash. It could really mean that they have everything they want!

If your sister is uncomfortable giving cash, a gift certificate to a restaurant is a nice alternative. One of our friends did this and it was so nice - basically the gift of a date night!

If the wedding is not until the summer, maybe the couple is planning to register but hasn't gotten around to it yet. We didn't register until March for our May wedding. Not everyone is so on top of things

i'm still learning the process of etiquette of wedding gift-giving and what I heard was that you give a gift from their registry if they registered and then money on the wedding day to cover the cost of food.  The gift was a little less than $100 and the cash at the wedding in a nice card was $100 for FI and I which would total $200.  I do feel that if they don't have a registry to give money or visa gift card, but not to buy something that they may not use ever.  i did that once for another friend's wedding before I knew about the etiquette and bought something that they probably don't use often for their wedding gift.  I do feel a bit guilty now after learning what I did wrong and made it up for them at their baby shower.  i definitely wouldn't punish couples for not having a registry bc nowadays couples live together and do have everything that they needed. if anything, giving couples money that they can use towards their wedding after is better than something that will just take up space and clutter.

I agree with Rebecca.  It is ridiculous to think that a guest should be guesstimating what the cost of their dinner will be in order to decide what the gift should be.  I've to been expensive weddings & really cheap/simple weddings and the only thing I base my gift on is my closeness to the couple.  My FI and I always give $200 to our close friends and a gift (that probably equals around $75) to those we are not as close to.  Personally if I knew that a bride was greedy enough to be upset with a too-low check, then I really wouldn't want to be at her wedding.  Your a guest, not a paying customer.

I don't have a registry, and I don't intend on having one.  Its not that I'm expecting money from guests though it is tradition for my family to give money to help pay for the reception, so there is no need to register.  Fiance and I are planning to buy a house together after the wedding and we don't quite know where we are going to live, and my parents will come live with us so we do have all the plates and saucers we will ever need and more.  My family give on average $75 per person. I've given plus or minus that at asian weddings and up to $200 depending on the circumstances.  I doubt that the couple's intention was to fish for money.  it is normal for asian weddings for guests to gift the couple money and the majority if not all do...so to register for a couple guests would be a waste of time.  You don't have to give them money by all mean, I just honestly wouldn't suggest buying them something the couple wouldn't need, if you rather get them a gift, talk to the couple and see what they would want to have or just plain ask them. If you're going to spend a couple hundred to buy someone a gift, it'd be ashamed if the couple isn't able to use it.  To get $75 is better than a gift item they're never going to use.  Just my opinion on this.   

I agree that there is a big geographic differential when it comes to gifts.  I live in southern CT and around here everything is expensive, hence the elevated wedding gifts.  It's obvious that a wedding held within the city is going to be costing more than one in a barn in the middle of Kansas, but just because the bride & groom can afford a swanky affair doesn't mean their guest should be going to the poorhouse with the gift!

Monetary gifts are definitely part of the Asian tradition and expected in lieu of a gift if there is no gift registry.  Contrary to American customs, it's not offensive in any way to the guests.

The going rate here on the West Coast is $50-75 per person that attends but speaking as a recent bride, I wasn't expecting my guests to pay for their plate.  People simply gave what they were comfortable gifting whether it was a set of towels or $200 in red envelopes. 

I think $75 is fine for your sister + date.  If her friend is offended by that amount then she probably isn't worth keeping as a friend anyway. :-)

that's what I thought before that giving a gift from registry or money at a wedding was enough until the last asian wedding i went to; i sent a decent gift to them for just one person through their registry, then at the wedding, they were going table to table and collecting red envelopes and for some reason, the bride looked at me as if she was expecting something.  i felt a bit awkward but i didn't prepare anything to give at the table since i had already sent her a gift.  like i said, still learning this whole etiquette thing but a big difference needs to be learned about cultural weddings... Asians will expect money at their wedding if they have no registry because it is considered lucky and more valuable since obviously it represents wealth than a random gift.  So you are giving them luck and wealth as a symbolism to start off the marriage well.  Americans rely more on registries since money is believed to be tacky.  Just know what type of wedding is it you are invited to so that you are able to give the appropriate gift.  Now if it is an asian person born and raised American; then either one is fine.  I'm still learning but now I think I got the jist of it.  =)