Weddingbee boards

Okay, I realize a lot of people claim the "money dance" is tradition but etiquette and I personally find them revoltingly tacky and embarrasing.  Seriously - your guests are coming to your wedding and (most likely)  bringing you a gift and you want to shake them down for cold, hard cash?  Not nice.  I would be extremely offended if I were a guest and probably just leave the reception. 

@ta27: Okay, so, not only do your guests have to give you money they have to be rushed to do it quickly?  I just don't see how that's being a gracious hostess or treating your guests very kindly.

Why can't the guests dance with the bride for free?  And sorry, but you're wrong - there is no way to do a money dance that isn't tacky or doesn't look greedy.  There is no getting around that you're shaking your guests down for cash regardless if its $1 or $100.  And sorry, but there is no cultural tradition that says its okay or proper to embarrass your guests into giving you money.

well i guess im being tacky! lol I've never been to a wedding without a money dance. Maybe its a southern thing.

@lisa105: no one is MAKING people participate in this. So if anybody at my wedding doesnt want to they dont have to. I'm not expecting $100 or $50. I'm sure most people will put $1 and im fine with that! But i think it'll be nice to personally speak to and dance with people that have attended my wedding. Just because you don't like it doesnt mean you have to be rude and tell us we're all wrong for doing it.

You should be personally going around and speaking to all your guests without making them pay you for the priviledge of spending 30 seconds with you.  This is supposed to be your first time you and your husband will be acting as host and hostess as a married couple and you want to charge your loved ones to speak to you?  Is selling out your duties as a hostess and your dignity really worth a few dollars?

@lisa105: In many parts of the country this is a common tradition, every wedding I have been to in Southern California has had one so I know that my guests will be expecting it. They will not feel the need to rudely rush out of the reception.

@CaraMia10:Well said.

 @lisa105: Can you really not understand that YOUR culture is not EVERYONES? How about we not be so closed minded my dear. You have your own opinion and we have ours. so stop being RUDE.

OP We're not dancing to any specific songs. We told our dj to play slow songs but not mushy songs! I;d rather not dance to mushy romantic songs with my guests haha

A dollar dance is not "cultural."  Its a relatively new phenominon thought up by greedy people.  And this is not just my personal opinion, etiquette says dollar dances are rude and tacky.  Just because they've become common does not make them any less embarrasing or vulgar.

@lisa105: Just give up. This is a post to people who do/have done dollar dances. If your looking to change anyones mind, your not. Get over it.

You're right, I won't change anyone's mind who is determined to do this and I will bow out of this thread after leaving you with one final point - people like to claim a sentimental attachment to the "cultural tradition" of the money dance while freely abandoning many other cultural practices they find abhorrent or inconvenient.  If you're going to do it at least be honest about the fact that you're doing it to line your pockets - not out of any sort of tribute to your culture!

So I'm closed minded for agreeing with etiquette that dollar dances are rude and taky but you're not closed minded for refusing to consider that they just might be?  I have solid arguments to back up my position.  I have yet to hear one good reason why the dollar dance is NOT rude or tacky other than some ridiculous hiding behind "culture."

Okay.

@lisa105: Yea your TOTALLY right.. we're ONLY doing the money dance to get rich and "line our pickets".. ya cought us.. all million of us that do it around the United States. As I stated before i have NEVER been to a wedding without one. EVER. So no, I dont think they're tacky if it's a normal thing i see.  No one has told you that your wrong in your opinion, and i dont think anyone appreciates you telling all of us that we are.

I thought you were leaving this thread? It's not like you've helped the OP with any of her questions.

I've never been to a wedding with a money dance, but they sound like a ton of fun. i did go to a Greek wedding once and people just throw money in the air all night. There is so much money, that people have to come and sweep it all up several times during the night. I think there were like 6 garbage bags full of money at the end of the night. I am sure lisa105 has some opinions about that as well. :-)