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My fiance has said in the past that he would like to do a money dance at our wedding in May. A couple of his friends were married recently and did it and while they said they made some good cash for their honeymoons, I thought it was really awkward and a bit tacky. I might not want to dance with a bunch of other men at our wedding (besides my relatives) and I feel like they are paying enough to travel (abour 2 hours for most, farther for some) and stay in a hotel and give us a gift. What do you think? Tacky tradition, or smart way to make honeymoon cash?
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I know my parents did this back in the 70's. I guess they would give some money, get a shot of whiskey and dance with the bride for however long. I think it's kind of awkward and weird now, and a bit tacky. Like you said, they are paying ot travel, and stay in a hotel and give you a gift... I guess it's sort of the same way I feel about cash bars.
Unless this is a cultural and usual at weddings you attend I would not do it. Personally I've never seen this happen at a wedding .
There was a pretty serious debate about the money dance a few months back- the whole "it's tacky" vs. "it's tradition" and there have been numerous posts.
If it's a traditional in your family I say go for it. The first time I saw one was at the wedding of a college friend and I joined right in- dancing with both the bride and the groom. It was really funny when all their friends and relatives were pinning money on them (in their hair, on the veil, a bow tie made out of a dollar bill, etc).
A lot of people say it's extorting money out of your guests- as a guest that had never seen one before, that was not at all my impression. It was a big laugh and all the guests were lining up to make a spectacle of the bride and groom.
I've heard it done in another way where the bridal party try to rally the crowd and collect money. I've never seen it done, so I can't say whether it makes guests feel pressured. I can imagine it going either way- reluctant guests feeling put on the spot to give or guests seeing it as a typical part of the wedding and giving some of their cash as part of a wedding gift and enjoying a moment with the bride and/or groom.
I say do what you think is best. You know your guests better than we do!
I doubt most of our guests would know what to do in this situation. But, more importantly, it doesn't fit the feel of our wedding -- and I think it would be hopelessly awkward! No go on the money dance.
I said yes on the money dance...shoot we make almost 2K from it and not everyone even danced. It's funny, makes for good pictures, and if you have the time in your day you should do it. But, it depends on if it's something that's been done before with the crowd that will be at your wedding. It's normal at all my family weddings, but if no one had ever done it, I wouldn't have either just so I wouldn't scare off the guests or anything.
I had never heard of this being done until last year. We were at my FI's friends' wedding and I was horribly appalled. Apparently it's big in the mid-west, and they think it's fun and no big deal. I definitely think it is based heavily on tradition.
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I've had friends do it and make tons of money, it's just not me and I will not be doing it. They'd probably pay me to stop dancing, anyway.
We are thinking of doing it, but not at all for the money reason. it's just a fun thing my family has done, and most people know what to do. I wouldn't care if people gave us pennies...it's just fun to dance with all of our guests in that setting...and to see who gets a longer line of dancers (me or fi!....my vote is on me, but only because we're getting married in my hometown)
It really depends on your guests and what they're used to. It can go either way.
If its normal in your circles, and you guys want to do it, do it. But if you have a lot of people who have never seen one before, be prepared to have a lot of shocked guests. I have personally never seen this before, and the whole idea of trying to "make money" off you guests IS a bit appalling to me (again, it is not a tradition I identify with).
i don't think it's tacky OR smart, per say. it's the cultural norm where i am from. we did it. no one thought it was weird or unusual because everyone does it.
Ha - I just posted about my bad money dance experience on this thread: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/craziest-thing-youve-seen-at-a-wedding-as-a-guest Check it out!
I don't think I've ever been to a wedding that didn't do this before. Everyone I know has done this, and it never crossed my mind that it would be considered weird. I've never heard it called the "money dance" though. We call it the "dollar dance".... not that those are severely different. Seems more demanding when you say money for some reason.
I was the moh at my sister's wedding so I collected the money and it was great being up there watching. It gave my sister a chance to say hello and thank you to some of the people she hadn't gotten to talk to yet (she has a guest list of over 800 people so it was hard for her to mingle with everyone). Plus it was so fun to see the girls dance with my sis and the guys dance with my brother in law. I had my camera up there so I took tons and tons of amazing candids. Plus the videographer got most of it on video.
I will def. be doing the dance. It is so fun! I understand not doing it if you have never seen or heard of it and you expect your guests haven't either. But I think it's worth my dollar. There have been several weddings where i didn't think to bring money so I had to run around to beg a dollar or two off of friends so I would get a chance to join in the fun.
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Having lived all over the country I would say it is a "regional" traditional, I have seen it done at weddings but where I am now (MA) I have never seen it done nor in my home country. If it is something that is done at weddings in your area or within your family or friends, then if you are comfortable with it by all means go for it.
If it is a matter of you not wanting to look "money-grubbing", perhaps you could do it (if it is a tradition as noted above) and donate the money to a charity or cause that is special to you & your FI.
I've only seen it done once and it was really fun. I don't feel comforable asking for money, but they only did a dollar for theirs. I didn't find it offensive. The couple was on a budget and it helped the happy couple on their honeymoon.
I do not plan on doing it, but if it is common in your area, go for it!
It's all about your crowd! I've only been to 1 wedding with a money dance, and the line was practically out the door to dance with the bride and groom! It was obvious that it was customary in their family. I have a feeling if we did it, people would have turned their noses up, and we wouldnt have had a TON of dancers. If you've noticed your family members have done it for their weddings, I say its a great way to make some honeymoon cash!
I think this is just something that varies family by family. For us, a money dance would confuse people and seem a little tacky...but then I know there are wedding traditions that my family loves that other people don't enjoy. (For instance...the chicken dance is HUGE at our family weddings!)
ive been to many weddings with the money dance and its always fun, i never really heard any "tacky" comments about it until reading this board
It depends on your area. I don't know if we'll do it or not though. My family & friends weddings have ALL had it. But I have been to numerous weddings on my FI's side and they did not. So I'm worried about them thinking it's tacky. But I know my family & friends, and myself will enjoy it. It's fun to get a chance to dance and say hello to family & friends. It's really not about the money for me. It's just something I've always seen done, so in a sense it's tradition. But it's still up in the air for us. Hmmm.
I agree with msduck... I don't think I have ever been to a wedding that didn't have a money dance. Definitely the first comment about it being tacky that I have ever heard was here. I am not sure if myMr and I are going to do the dance, not because of it possibly being tacky, but because I feel bad taking money from our guests when I know everyone is struggling with the economy. It's a tough choice. Good Luck!!!
I didn't vote ~ I think the money dance is a lot of fun and for many it is just the norm. We did it and it was so much fun! I got to spend some quality time dancing with people I care about and getting to know some people from my husband's side and my husband got to do the same for my side. My brother was the first to dance with me, and he seemed so proud and happy. There was nothing tacky about it and there was nothing smart about it. The best comment we got was from a guest who had brought cash because he didn't know that we were having an open bar, he said "great, now I have something to spend my cash on!"
The people who are appalled by the money dance clearly did not grow up with it. We are doing the money dance (despite being told it was tacky by our venue coordinator) not because of the money (most people give a dollar), but because it gives our guests an opportunity to come say hello to you if you haven't gotten the opportunity to talk to them yet.
The "Dollar Dance" is hilarious! I don't think it's tacky at all. It's kind of funny to see all the various places people can put a dollar! I think if you have a lively enough crowd, scoot over to your DJ and see what he/she can do to make a quick unplanned annoucement, if your crowd is kind of low-key and still having a good time, judge accordingly. It's not about making money, it's simply about having fun and no one really thinks much of a dollar when it comes to that. Hope this helps
Also if you are contemplating it, it is also a great way to donate money to a local charity, just make sure your announcer lets people know what they money is going to be used for. He/She could make such an announcement as "Please come join the Bride and Groom for the Dollar Dance, all proceeds are donated to *insert Charity of your choicehere*"
I think they're very awkward. Hey! Why don't you go buy a nice outfit to see me get married, buy me a gift when belts are already tight from the economy, and hey when you get to my wedding, why not give me more cash to dance with me.--That just doesn't feel right to me. As for meeting and greeting all of my guests, that is why we are having a receiving line. Also, you make it a point to visit every table you can during the reception to talk to people. We only have 10 tables. So that's fine for us. I guess if someone else wants to do one, that's their thing, but it just isn't my preference. :)
PS: I grew up in the South, and know lots of people who have done it and I still think it is a little tacky. But to each his own! Who am I to judge someone else for something that gives them joy? I just wont have one at mine! :)
My FI is insisting we do this at our Kentucky reception... apparently all his buddies have done it & walked away with thousands of dollars.
I've never heard of this tradition. I don't know anyone one the west coast who does this!! If I went to a wedding & this happened I'd be heckling in the back. Since its tradition in the KY area- (Eeeek) I guess we'll have to cater to our audience.
I think its a little tacky, yet I can see the other side too. Lots of money + some nice moments with your guests. I would suggest going ahead with it if its common in your area and/or a family tradition. If your guests have never heard of this or you haven't been to atleast 3 weddings that have done this-- drop it! Your guests would only end up confused & probably annoyed.
I just had to respond, because I think some people need to look at things outside their box. In my culture, it is traditional to have a money dance. Why one would feel "appalled" at something that is traditional appalls me. Filipinos have a money tree where many latino families have the traditional money dance.
I have never been to a wedding that DIDN'T have a money dance. I think before we are quick to judge, it's important to see the why's behind it. Traditional values are very important to me and my FI which is why we've chosen to have the money dance. I hope that if any of my guests are unfamiliar with the money dance, that they will be like rosychicklet and jump right in. Even if they don't have money to "pin" on me, for me its more about connecting and dancing with all my guests. THis is OUR version of the receiving line, which btw I've never seen at any wedding I've been to.
We are doing a Dollar Dance also. Many friends and family members have done this in the past and they are probably the funniest things to watch. I think it is a great way to be able to talk to people a little bit more and thank them for coming. And they make for great pictures!
we're doing it because it's part of our culture and is expected. it would be weird to not have one at our reception.
personally, if it's not a cultural thing and you're just doing it to get money, then i kind of think it's tacky.
I've never been to or worked at a wedding that DIDN'T have one. And it's not like your guests absolutely have to dance with you during it, and as far as I know, people just do small amounts, like literally a dollar or $5 or something.
Like BirdofParadise said, its neither "tacky" or "smart" I believe it really is a tradational/locational thing. Personally, my side of the family is used to the dollar dance, but we won't be having it at my wedding out of respect for my FI's family who isn't used to the tradation (and who arn't really open to new tradations either 
)
Mr. D really wants to do one, but I feel awkward doing it. I think it is just another dance being the complete center of attention makes me nervous, or the idea of no one wanting to dance with me. :)
I don't really know what this is, but it sounds really awful and tacky. What, do you dance and they throw money at you? Lol. I would feel like a stripper.
@kurlynut: It's a tradition for you, but not everyone. I think you took this post out of context. I really don't think it was meant to judge those who do the dollar dance! Actually, most of the bee's have said if its tradition- go for it! I think the general consensus was that it is only frowned upon when guests have never done the dance or heard of this tradition before. It could just get really confusing for the guests.
:)
I personally wouldn't want to do it, but it would be looked at very strangely amongst our group of family and friends, and I would (personally) feel like I was siphoning money off our guests. Honestly, I don't think any of them would get up to dance with me except for a few drunk fraternity brothers. And I'm not real keen on strangers touching me around the waist and being able to see down the top of my dress, etcetra.
A friend of mine did something similiar that was hilarous at her laid back winery wedding where mostly friends attended. The groom belted a Journey song, and you had to put money in the bucket to get him to stop. It ended up with him running around the venue being chased, singing "she's just a smalltown girl" the whoooole time. It was the funniest thing i've ever seen. But then again, this guy is seriuos about his bad karaoke, so he was all into it.
Place and time I think. And traditions and cultures, too.
PS i do LOVE the idea of commenting that whatever you make off it you will donate to charity. I woudl totally be ok doing one and NOT pocketing the money! off i go to email my FI about it
One can NOT have a Western PA wedding without what we call the bridal dance. I think it totally depends on your fam and traditions. I would NEVER do it just for the money.
I have to go with the crowd on this one and say that if it is something you have seen done, and you personally don't feel awkward doing it and you really want to-go for it! Obviously it's a regional thing, so go with what woudl be fun for your crowd.
I was totally against it before our wedding....I was the bride who just thought it to be tacky. Mr. PG insisted on having it, so I had to eventually cave.
Honestly, it ended up being a great way to to socialize with a lot of our guests! Even if they only got to dance with us for a few seconds. =)
It also made for some great photo ops. (And pretty much covered our honeymoon spending money.)
If a money dance is not a part of your tradition or culture, why can't your guests dance with you and spend time with you at your wedding for free?
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I thought I would update as people have revived this thread I started a while ago.
First, I was not meaning to judge, but rather to get the opinion of other brides who may have had this idea suggested. My stepfather is from Puerto Vallarta and I went to his neice's wedding there and they did a version of this where they pin the money to the bride and groom and called certain honored family members to dance with them to a slow song and it was lovely. I have also been to a couple weddings out here where they played up-tempo, money themed songs and the bride had a purse to put the money in. As it is not part of my culture, I was thinking of the latter option and was not feeling it.
What did we decide? No money dance (phew). I brought it up with my FI and his mom and she agreed with me that it is uncomfortable and not for us or our guests. I already knew my mom would agree with me, so this time, I got my way. I hope I didn't offend anyone! Continue to share what you decided to do about this!
after seeing how much fun it was at my sister's wedding this past year (and how much cash you can make!) my FI was all into doing one. he mentioned to his mom when we were visiting them and she told us that it is the tackiest, most appalling thing she has ever heard of. guess that's the midwest-eFI still wants one...but we'll see!
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