Money hungry wedding activities: What are your thoughts?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

crisy003:  simple etiquette answer: Your guests should NEVER open a wallet at your event.  Period end of story.

The fact that even YOU see these things as ‘money hungry’ speaks volumes.  I know I certainly wouldn’t want my guests to think I was like that.

Post # 3
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Oh God, no.

Do you really want to dance for cash at your wedding?

Post # 4
602 posts
Busy bee

These things aren’t a “little” tacky. They are epic amounts of tacky. I know that dollar dances and the like are common in certain cultures but I think that asking already generous guests to open their wallets even more than they already have is gross. It’s the bride and grooms responsibility to fund the wedding and honeymoon (with the help of family, if they’ve offered). If you need your guests money for any portion of these shindigs then you shouldn’t be having either. 

Post # 5
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

crisy003:  These sorts of activities do not happen in my region/culture so I would be opposed to doing them at my own wedding and would raise an eyebrow at a friend who did it as I know it’s not a ‘thing’ here. I’ve seen on my online wedding travels though that dollar dances and stuff are very common in some cultures (maybe polish or something?) so it wouldn’t bother me if they were from that culture – I can choose whether to participate or not. Just like Greeks get money pinned on their dresses etc.   Your FI should not want to include these things though purely to raise money for the honeymoon.

Post # 6
5208 posts
Bee Keeper

I really think that the next trend should be a stripper pole at the reception. The bride and her wedding party could dance and have everyone put money in their garters.

Post # 7
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June, 2014

I thought the dollar dance was tacky too but it’s a tradition in my husband’s family and because I wanted to incorporate his views into our wedding, I compromised and gave him the dollar dance. Not one person said anything negative. I did feel a little bad because I made more money than he did, but it was something that he valued as important and his family was glad that we upheld their tradition. 

My opinion, if you really really hate it, talk to your FI about it. But if it really does mean something to him, just let it happen. Obviously it’s cool with his family and if your side of guests doesn’t want to participate, they don’t have to. Also, if it helps, you can make the dollar giving optional. I have yet to see a bride turn down a dance partner because they didn’t pay the toll. 

Post # 8
1716 posts
Bumble bee

I haven’t heard of a garter auction. I don’t really like the sound of that, to be honest. I have heard of dollar dances, and I don’t mind them at all. 

I probably wouldn’t do either of those things. Well, definitely not the garter auction. 

I actually don’t mind giving a couple extra money. In fact, there are a few money-giving customs around the worid that I love. The two I like the most are when the bride and groom are showered with money when they enter the reception/celebration, and when guests put money in a satin bag the bride has that is made specifically for gifts of money. I love those. 

If I were to have an activity like these at my wedding, I would likely only do one. 

Post # 9
42117 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have heard of dollar dances being traditional in some geographical areas.  If it is a tradition where you live or with your families, then go ahead if you are comfortable.

This is the first I’ve heard of a garter auction. The garter auction sounds like something new  that someone desperate for cash just dreamed up.

If my FI (now DH) had insisted on either, he would have been looking for a new bride. Neither of these are traditions where we live.

Post # 10
2472 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

crisy003:  I come from a family that does the dollar dance. Even when I was a little kid, I thought it was tasteless. We didn’t do it at ours, and nobody said anything (to my knowledge, but it was a very small wedding).

Don’t feel pressured to add these events to your wedding. If people want to give you money, they will do so. If they were anticipating those events and didn’t get the chance, they may send you the money in a card after the fact.

Hold strong, sister!

Post # 11
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Instead of “money-hungry wedding activities,” maybe the thread should be called, “culturally (or locally)-appropriate wedding activities that I’m not used to”. 


Post # 12
266 posts
Helper bee

To me both activities sound very tacky and I would never do anything like that.  Now if the dollar dance is part of your culture or your fiance’s culture and its very important for him to have it, you might want to agree but if he wants to do it just to raise extra money I would say NO WAY!

Post # 13
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

In my culture (from my mother’s side) they do a money dance at weddings. People literally throw money at you, haha! No one is forced, but people just get up and do it, all while dancing. It is actually cute to me, but I won’t be doing that at my wedding. I just don’t plan to, and I am not wearing the traditional clothing either… 

Post # 14
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Dollar dances are normal in our family, even expected. So we are doing one.

But if it’s not something thats done & accepted in your circle, I would skip it.

Post # 15
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Dollar dances are very much a common thing in my region, and something that has been present at every family wedding that I’ve gone to. I have always thought it tacky and a great way to meet the really creepy members of the family, so we’re passing on that. My family is currently horrified that I am declining it. 

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