(Closed) Money instead of gifts on invite?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@missbluesky:  I wouldn’t care one way or the other bc I always gift cash but be warned that this is a very controversial topic here. Don’t be surprised when/if this thread blows up.

 

Post # 4
Member
9172 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I’d think it was a little tacky but not be clutching my pearls in horror.  But I’m going to predict that you get a lot of pearl-clutching from bees here, and your real life guests.  (Mentioning gifts on an invite is bad etiquette, let alone a direct request for money.  Obviously it would somewhat depend on your crowd though.)

Post # 5
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You shouldn’t be referring to gifts at all on your invitations.  To be perfectly honest, I think your wording is pretty bad because by referring to a box for “donations” you are really emphasizing the physical transaction of money between yourself and your guests. 

Post # 7
Member
1781 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t see anything wrong with wanting cash in lieu of gifts. I do have a wedding registry, but if I were to be honest- FH and I would prefer money for new furniture, that is too expensive to request on a registry. I say kudos to you. If people get nasty with you over this subject, ignore them, it’s not their wedding! 

Post # 8
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@missbluesky:  I wouldn’t worry about it. It might not be a traditional thing to do, but everyone isn’t traditional with their weddings these days.

Post # 9
Member
7870 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I personally think it’s in poor taste to mention gifts at all, and asking for money is worse. Sorry.

Post # 10
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think there are a plethora of threads pertaining to this topic that you could have utilized the search bar to find and saved yourself what I predict is an incoming flaming.  

 

Alluding to gifts at all on an invite is not good, asking for money is worse, and unless your honeymoon is a registered charity referring to monetary gifts as a donation is even worse to my mind.  For me it’s that one word that would land you a much smaller gift than I’d usually give. 

Personally, I think leave all mention off all together and tell people verbally if they ask you what  you’d like or have your family/bridal party spread via word of mouth. 

Post # 11
Member
12572 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s very rude.  Asking for money is inappropriate in all circumstances, and very much so at a wedding.  I would definitely find it tacky on an invitation and would probably reconsider the amount of a gift I typically give. 

Post # 12
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@missbluesky:  Shut.this.thread.down.girl. lol It might get ugly.

I personally wouldn’t care as a guest. If the couple wanted money then I’m happy to give them just money. I would rather be told.

Post # 13
Member
17 posts
Newbee

There is no nice way to ask your guests to give you cash and mentioning gifts in an invite is rude.

Post # 14
Member
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Tacky tacky tacky. Never ask for money. When people ask you/your family where you’re registered and you say you’re not, they’ll get the hint.

Post # 15
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Hmm, so traditionally it might be seen as a bit gauche, BUT… I’m a practical gifter. I want to get something you need and will use, and if that is honeymoon cash, hey that makes it much easier on me… all I have to do is find a card instead of combing your registries for that perfect gift that is in my price range for you and doesn’t feel like a dud of a gift.

It may have been better to build a wedding website and have that mentioned there instead of on the invite, but I think there are going to be sticklers and there are going to be people that don’t care either way.

I don’t think it was a problem for you to start this new thread, because you were asking on specific wording.

 

Post # 16
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Westwood:  +1

I don’t think gifts should be mentioned.  If people need help finding a suitable gift, they’ll ask those closest to the bride or groom for help or registry info.

The topic ‘Money instead of gifts on invite?’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors