Money Matters! Thoughts?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Is constatntly lending money to the same friend appropriate in a marriage?
    Heck no! : (18 votes)
    53 %
    Depends, do they pay back? : (11 votes)
    32 %
    They need help so help them! : (0 votes)
    Once, but not every couple of months : (5 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1802 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think it is odd that it is this one person and it is so frequent. She’s obviously using him just for the money. My SO is the same way as he thinks it is his place to lend out money. He once lent his friend $400 to buy an Xbox. I was so pissed when he told me, and I was on him about it until he got the last penny back which took months. I would just continue to discuss with him and tell him you think this is wroncom maybe keep money separate or separate yours if you have to. My SO knows now not to offer money since we dont have tons ourselves.

    Post # 3
    Member
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    This is a problem. We don’t have joint accounts. But we have joint bills and joint debt. When my husband lends money or treats people then WE lend money and treat people. I am not cool with that at all especially when the loans turn into gifts. Taking money out of our household is not acceptable.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    No, you shouldn’t lend money to friends. My husband would be seriously PISSED if I lent money out. At times my friends and I buy things for each other on sale’s, or to save shipping, and then pay each other back etc… Or say if someone buys a chunk of concert tickets, the rest pay the person for their portion. But if I was to hand someone a chunk of cash he would definitely not be ok, and I wouldn’t if it went the other way. 

    Your FH is being totally taken advantage of and he doesn’t even realize it

    Post # 5
    Member
    10490 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I’ve seen this issue with my in laws, and I’m so glad DH feels the same about it as me.

    It’s our money.  If he wantst to help someone out, he needs to discuss it with me first.  I wouldn’t mind helping someone out, but it needs to be affordable to us and something we agree on.

    If someone forgets their wallet or something and DH needs to cover something for them and he trusts them to pay him back ASAP, then sure, he doesn’t need to check in with me first.

     

    When someone comes right out, asks for money, then says it’s a loan and not a gift, I wouldn’t be lending to them or giving them a gift!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1500 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    One should only lend money one does not mind losing, and it shouldn’t be a recurring theme – definitely agree with your pastor and everyone else that this is not okay. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    7279 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    MeandMyLouboutins:  How did you FH react to the what he paster said? I hope that he is now on fully on board. I mean the audacity of her not managing her own martial finaces and then dictating that its gift vs a loan. Oh hell no. 

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  .
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