(Closed) Money Matters

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow I would be frustrated as well.  So do you not see your sister and her FI ever?  Maybe you could bring it up to your parents so others could put the screws on them?

Post # 4
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

Does your sister know you loaned him the money?

Ugh, what a crappy situation he put you in. I know everyone says you shouldnt loan money to family, but it can be hard to say no!

Post # 5
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I know it sounds terrible, but I would totally go to the wedding.  You know how uncomfortable that will be for them if he hasn’t paid you anything by then?  And I would totally bring it up because you know they’re getting checks on that day!

 

Post # 6
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Nona99:  Sorry to hear this happened Nona! 

So August he paid $70 and since then they have had no contact with you, but you have not asked for the money since there has been no contact?

You could try actually bringing it up for real, and ask for another payment.  Either by mail, email, text, stopping by their house.  See if that does anything.  Do the awkward thing and ask what is happening – if he can at least give an explanation!  I would try since it seems like it was not tried yet.

How much was loaned in all?

When is the wedding?  I wouldn’t do a gift after the loan!

Post # 7
Member
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@Nona99:  You said “they” avoid you, does your sister know about it? I would show up at their house honestly. That’s not okay if your sister knows about it & isn’t pushing to get you paid back. If it was a friend I would blow UP but since it’s your sister you can’t really do that. I’m sorry you’re in this situation

Post # 8
Member
8464 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Nona99:  Honestly, I’d probably pay him back the $70, go to the wedding, and say the e-ring was a gift from me.

Post # 9
Member
14314 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@housebee:  I was thinking the same thing…

Post # 10
Member
9630 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Nona99:   ((HUGS))  So sorry to hear you’re having to go through this.  Been there, and now I’m so cautious about loaning anyone money because of having gotten so burned, even by family members.  

My guess is he does plan to pay you back but probably doesn’t have the money at this time.  He needs to talk to you, like a man, and tell you his re-payment plan, though.  It’s not cool at all that he’s avoiding you like this.

Post # 12
Member
9630 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Nona99:   Oh, so not cool of your sister, either.  Wow, I’d be ticked.

I certainly wouldn’t offer my make-up and hair services for her wedding for free, now that she’s shafted you for $330.  Tell her that’s your fee, lol.

And, one other thing, I totally get  that it’s not the money that has you the most steamed, it’s more the principle of this thing.

Post # 13
Member
5755 posts
Bee Keeper

Is this the same shower you’re throwing when you posted all the details wondering if she’d love it? I’d be dropping the pro photographer in a NY minute now. That should help at least a little.

How old are these two? Do they have jobs? Ugh.

Post # 14
Member
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@Nona99:  I wouldn’t do anything for her or the wedding until she paid for it. She’s paying for a wedding I assume, so she should have the money to pay you back. No way would I do hair/make up for free or contribute at all to a bridal shower until I was paid back. But it depends on how willing to mess up your relationship you are.

Post # 15
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would avoid pitching in any more money. So, no bridesmaids dress. No shower. No wedding gift.  Hate to see something get in between your relationship with your sister but at some point you have to stand your ground.  Eventually she’ll call when you haven’t ordered the dress and there are no plans for the shower.  

Post # 16
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Nona99:  I completely understand why you are upset.  At this point however, I would simply attend the wedding, not give a gift but would certainly give your sister & brother in law a card that says something along the lines of: I wish you a lifetime of happiness and couldn’t be happier to know that my wedding gift to you both is something you will be reminded of every time you glance at my sister’s left hand.  Too catty?  I think $330 is a perfectly fine wedding gift for a couple to give at a wedding so bring a date and enjoy the night!

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