Post # 1
So my Mom has been giving me grief over the fact that FI and I are paying for the rehearsal dinner. She keeps asking, “well how much are ____’s parents giving you for the rehearsal dinner? What is your budget??” I keep telling her that his parent’s are stuggling with money and that we’re going to be paying for it. Then she says something about “Well you’re inviting his grandmother and aunt and they’re not in the wedding party.. why can’t they fork up enough to cover that” I want to slap her! We’re inviting ALL of the grandparents and the aunt is coming because she’s in charge of moving his Grandma around! Why do I have to explain to her that they make more than QUADRUPLE what his parents make, even more than that since my Mom just picked up a new job. I understand she may be upset because they’re paying for the reception.. but seriously, they volunteered to pay for it. UGH!
Post # 3
That sucks. I wouldn’t discuss money with her from now on.
Post # 4
I got an uncomfortable comment like this from my mom about my FI’s parents (who are super old and on a fixed income and who were impacted by Katrina!!) and I was very firm and just said that we would handle it. That seemed to do the trick for me, but I feel for you.
Post # 5
Just change the money subject any time it comes up. If she’s not paying for it, she has no need to know what it costs.
Post # 6
It’s odd b/c I said something about how we’re paying for it a while ago. but now she’s getting these extravagant ideas about it ($50 a head). All we’re doing is eating effing dinner after the rehearsal! why does it have to be fancy? anyways it came up today and she was kind of shocked. I just told her to not worry about it b/c FI and I are paying for it. I guess she doesn’t like our $20-25 a head idea.
Post # 7
@Woodstock: Don’t discuss $$ with her. I could be wrong, but I was under the impression that it was traditional for the bride’s family to pay for the wedding (which I assume includes the rehearsal dinner)… so you could just tell her that lol. Or maybe not since she is paying for the reception. Just weird.
Post # 8
My mom does the same thing… I just say FIL didn’t contribute to their own daughter’s wedding so I am not expecting it for ours.
Post # 9
thanks everyone. it’s really not that bad anymore I just needed to vent so I wouldn’t take it out on my mom! And I was annoyed that she was upset that his parents weren’t contributing. I have to keep reminding her they’re lucky they can afford to make it to the wedding! I have been discussing the dinner with my Mom because I wanted to see if she knew of any good restaurants to go to. I was asking if she had been to any of the ones I was looking at. She wanted to do a riverboat cruise and I had to talk her out of it because it was too expensive and didn’t get back until 11pm! Too late for me! lol Anyways we actually found this really cool place that’s $23 a head including tax and gratuity! Woot!! and it’s an Irish restaurant. Fingers are crossed that the food is good.
@canarydiamond: in our case the wedding and reception is traditionally covered by the bride’s parents. The rehearsal dinner is traditionally covered by the groom’s parents.