- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Sorry about this, I just need to complain to someone about this… lol. Maybe you budget ladies will have some insight/opinions/sympathy for me.
For reference, we had 10 months to plan/save for the wedding, an initial budget of $10,000, and have no credit available to us at all.
All throughout the planning process, my future in-laws have been causing all kinds of issues. First, they offered to cover our venue and catering for us when we announced the engagement (which we were VERY excited about) and they suggested we move the wedding forward to a better time (spring/summer) since we would be saving so much. We planned for late October but brought it back to June because they offered so much help. After a lot of complications, their contribution changed from ‘all venue/catering’ to ‘paying for part of the food’ (about half the bill) and not paying for the venue. They thought stuff was a lot cheaper than it was. That added $3,000 to our planned budget.
Then, needless to say, other stuff came up… nothing ever goes as smoothly as planned. Some other expenses rose, wedding related and otherwise (had to buy most of my bridesmaids’ dresses, car needed a very expensive repair, dog got sick, etc.) and in 5 months’ time, our expenditures swelled to $13,000, we’ve spent $2,700 on unexpected expenses, and we still have about $5k outstanding. To pay in less than 2 months.
We’re freaking out over here. We only earn about $3500 a month between us, and, y’know, life is expensive (food, rent, car, gas, phone bills, food, dog food…). So we do the only thing we can, and go beg to borrow money from our in-laws, the only people we know who have the money to spare. We promise to have them paid off in two months…
…And, after making us feel awful about it (“How did you guys come up that short?”, “You should have budgeted better”, etc. etc.) they agree to lend us the money.
Cue sigh of relief, coupled with horrible shame.
We were so ashamed by their reaction we’re thinking about not borrowing the money at all, and either borrowing from someone else or trying to make it work by ourselves. I made a functional budget that would keep us from borrowing money, but we’d have a couple of very miserable months if we use it. By no means do we live lavishly, but this would be the kind of budget that cuts us down to no-name bread and Mr. Noodles for dinner a couple of times a week. I don’t know whether to defend my pride and live miserably or have them begrudge us for managing our money ‘poorly’. I don’t think they realize that we wouldn’t be in this situation at all if they hadn’t reduced their contribution by so much. We would still be on track for our October wedding, and would have a lot more wiggle room. (I don’t mean to sound spoiled – I am truly grateful for the help, especially since they are the only ones helping… but we would have had more time and more money for emergencies if we had done it the way we planned to originally.)
I guess I coud also try to cut low-commitment vendors. They all have deposits, but some are insubstantial. We’ve only put $50 down on our cake, and who needs a wedding cake, anyway?
I’m not sure what I’m looking for, really. Sympathy? Opinions? Ideas? What would you do – borrow the money and feel your future in-laws seething at a distance, or buck up and live on a shoestring budget for two months?
Thanks for reading. I feel a bit better just for typing it. Sorry it’s so long. <3