- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
I know exactly how you feel. I keep justifying it to myself by saying “I’m only getting married once” lol. We have a budget, but id use the word loosely, its flexible within reason, but that said, i do know how much we can afford to spend (opposed to what we budgeted) and i tend not to go over that.. its about sacrifice, i can have the fancy cake topper, but will have to skip that weeks takeaway lol.
Some people will disagree with me, but Id say as long as you are not going into debt and you have no other major commitments ( ie saving to buy a house or paying off exsisting debts ect) then your ok its all about what your comfortable with and prioritise 🙂
Edit, I found it helps to have a list of musts, and a list of wants, once the musts are all paid for i can start buying the wants 🙂
@linnylou_88: I know how hard it is to see something you love and NEED to have it. I originally wanted to spend NO MORE than 15k but am definitely going to spend 25k, and that is still having some pretty strict budget constraints.
I justified it by prioritizing what we both felt was most important and then being very firm with myself about not overspending when something isn’t as important. I also move money around in the budget (e.g. we are under by about $900 on photography, so I redistributed that money to invites/flowers).
I caution on going overboard on everything (is the cake really THAT important?) because my friend is getting married this July and still owes vendors 15k, and has no idea how she and her FI are going to pay it. She is super stressed and losing sleep, AND HAIR, over it. She emphasized to me that they kept deciding to get a “little bit more” for every single item and suddenly, everything was way more expensive.
BUT if you know you can pay for it (or are willing to take on some extra debt), then spend your heart out!
I felt like that, and the wedding was getting TOTALLY out of control.
Then we decided to move the wedding up by a year (giving us 5.5 months until the big day!)
Suddenly, we had to make decisions REALLY fast, and I couldn’t be swayed by expensive things!
Since then, wedding planning has been SO fun and SO stress free, because we don’t have any time so second-guess!
It is hard! I would recommend “falling out of love” with some of the expensive ideas….I loved the pocketfold invitations and a tier cake, and a band, but what I decided I loved more was having money left over to buy a house. So that helped…having a vision for after the wedding. Then decisions were easier..”Do I want a fancy cake or do I want a house (or whatever you want)?”.
@linnylou_88: It depends what your priorities are and what you can realistically afford. If you can afford to splurge without worrying about it, then do it. If you are going to be at a loss to get more practical things, like a house or paying off debts or even saving for contingencies, then it really doesn’t seem worth it to me. Yes, you will only get married once…But you will live in a house every single day. To me, that’s worth more.
Having said that, we already own a few properties, so we will be spending quite a bit on our weddingmoon. We are in a position where this isn’t something we are worried about though. If you can do it without feeling bad/guilty and losing out on other things, then go ahead. Otherwise, I’d try to be a bit more practical and live within your means.
My mom always jokes about having champagne taste on a beer budget!
@linnylou_88: Like PPs have said, if you can afford to splurge without compromising things like staying in the black or buying a house, go ahead and buy a few expensive things – you only get married once.
Have you sat down and figured out a realistic budget, though? My concern would be that you’re splurging on things now and even if you cut costs later, you will still go over since you just won’t have enough money to go around.
Keep in mind all this money is for one day of your life so spend wisely and don’t let yourself become swayed by everything (I know it’s hard!).
We have bought our own apartment so we are lucky we don’t have to save for that. My main worry is that I want to start trying for a baby after the wedding and it costs so much to have a baby. My employer doesn’t offer great maternity benefits and the wedding would wipe us out- is have to start saving from scratch. As I write this I can see how ridiculous I’m sounding- choosing wedding invitations over saving for a baby. Am I getting my priorities wrong? Should I be less focused on the wedding?
Have you read “A Practical Wedding”? It really helped frame my thoughts about the budget and it’s an awesome book. You might find it helpful It’s SO easy to blow a ton of money on wedding stuff, when you know deep-down, that STUFF doesn’t matter.
Meant to add this: Make a list of your and your FI’s top 3 most important things for the wedding. Only 3! That will help you make decisions too. Mine were: Ceremony and reception in same place, Food, and bringing our own booz. That made flowers and invitiations fall down the list….and favors got cut completely!
It’s so easy to get out of hand, the further you get down the wedding world rabbit hole lol. Hubs and I didn’t go crazy but we did spend a little too much, and there have been times I wish we had some of that money back. I loved our wedding & I don’t regret anything, but I wouldn’t have regretted saving more $ either that’s for sure! Especially on smaller details.
Don’t do letterpress!!! Seriously, it’s soooo much more expensive than offset & 90% of people aren’t going to notice. I wouldn’t go overboard on the cake either, you can get something nice store bought and have your florist give the reception hall or bakery a few extra fresh flowers to add to it, or custom make your cake topper…you can make it your own without paying 3xs extra! Sit down with FI and make a realistic budget, and try to stick to it as much as possible. Good luck!
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