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I used a monogram of just our first initials. I plan to incorporate the full monogram with the last name initial at the reception, same style.
I used our new monogram on our invitations. Everyone is going to say something different so you should do what YOU want. It gets very stressful I found when you ask for people's opinions all the time. Its your wedding and it should reflect your dreams.
Keep in mind that the store owner has motive to ridicule your invitations so that you will have them designed through the store instead of just buying the supplies there.
I believe that etiquette does say not to use the married monogram until the reception (after you've said your vows and officially become husband and wife). Therefore it's ok to put it on the cake but not on the programs. My personal feeling is, don't freaking worry about it.
But if it is something that worries you, consider doing what cbkj suggested...one with just your first initials for anything preceremony and a very similar one with first initials and married last name initial for the reception and thank you cards.
Personally, we were having a very casual wedding so our monogram only had our first initials anyway. But I did end up working with two monograms that were similar but different so that neither one got borring.
Good luck! Designing everything was my favorite part, and don't let a salesman with alterior motives make you feel bad!
I think it's supposed to be bad luck and bad etiquette to use your married monogram on anything that you send out before you're actually married. You should do a first name monogram or just the bride's monogram on the invites and programs, then anything for the reception can have your new monogram on it. Sorry she was a butthead, but she is right. Have fun with it though. There is a really cute first initial monogram on Laura Hooper's blog. It's pink with dots. Check it out.
I used just our last initial for the monogram on our invitations, BUT my maiden name begins with the same letter as my married name will, so for me the letter represents both families.
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My Mom and I are planning on making our own STD's, Invitations, and Thank You's. We made a mock up of what we would like the STD's and invitations to look like and took them to a local wedding invitation retailer to look at papers etc. We have a pocket style invitation with our monogram on the front flap. After the owner ripped apart every little detail of our hardwork, she told us that it was inappropriate to have a monogram on the invitation because we aren't married yet. I have seen a monogram used on many invitation samples and I'm just wondering what the proper etiquette is? Did any of you use your monogram on your invitations?