Monogramed gift for engaged BM?

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

I would put her new initials, then she can still wear it after she is married. Plus, I love seeing my soon-to-be initials! And I think every engaged girl does haha

Post # 3
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - The Boatshed Restaurant

I think you could do either, I agree that she’d like to see her future initials.

Maybe just check that she plans to change her surname first!

Post # 6
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - The Boatshed Restaurant

ksn1219:  Aww that must be a horrible feeling. Especially frustrating for you because you’ve voiced that you don’t like your current initials! If I were the bride, I would have asked what you’d prefer (asking really isn’t too hard)…on the other hand, as someone planning a wedding, there are so many details going around in your head…hopefully it’s just an oversight and not malicious. 

Post # 8
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

ksn1219:  Bummer 🙁 But you can’t change it, so don’t let it ruin your fun! It’s not necessarily the case that she looks down on your relationship, maybe she asked someone else and they suggested sticking with your current initials, or maybe she wasn’t thinking, or maybe it wasn’t exactly the nicest of intentions but who cares? It’s a gift, and you don’t have to use it again if you don’t like it. BTW how different are your new initials? Any chance you could change it after the wedding so it reflects your new initials? 

Post # 10
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - The Boatshed Restaurant

How far away is the wedding and are you the MOH or bridesmaid?…I wonder if, having been invited to be part of the wedding party, that you could talk to the bride about it and perhaps suggest changing the initials yourself? Bearing in mind, that the situation might worsen and in that case, maybe just let it go as LoveMyBrit suggested. I know there’s a big difference between S and T (ironically I am an S and my FI is a T…but I’m keeping my S!). I feel for you, it’s quite the uncomfortable position!

Post # 11
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

ksn1219:  Again, bummer. Looks like you won’t really be getting much use out of that robe if you hate your initials so much… use the fabric to make something else? Or use it as clothes for cleaning haha. Or just toss it and move on. It’s annoying, but your friend and her mom either sound 1) petty and passive aggressive, if they’re that weird about your relationship, 2) oblivious, if they didn’t pick up that you would have prefered your new initials, or 3) trying to guide you out of a bad relationship. Since I’m assuming your relationship is not unhealthy or dangerous, then it’s probably #1 or #2, in which case there’s nothing for you to do except shake it off and enjoy living your life! Sorry you had/have to deal with them being like this, but it sounds like you can either keep being friends (and thus keep putting up with this) or stop being friends (and not deal with this anymore). Your call. Either way, focus on the fact that YOU get to marry the man you love, who cares what they think!! And soon you can use your new initials on whatever you like 🙂

Post # 12
Member
677 posts
Busy bee

ksn1219:  the obvious answer is to just ask the bm/moh which she prefers. Since that didn’t happen, one of two things — she’s super busy, wasn’t thinking about it, someone in her family helped with the order, and she just didn’t think of it – or something else is going on. I err hard on the side of giving the benefit of the doubt to someone you love and have chosen to be close to, and I hope the monogram won’t bother you in the future. sometimesit’s easier to shrug and focus on the important stuff. good luck.

Post # 14
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

ksn1219:  I know where you’re coming from. I had a ‘friend’ address their wedding invite to me as my name + guest. Lol… she knew full well who my boyfriend was.

In this case I would move on, but still be secretly annoyed haha. You know where she stands and while it is frustrating from what you said it doesn’t sound out of character. I would distance myself after the wedding.

Post # 15
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

ksn1219:  Doesn’t sound like there’s been much of a friendship between you two lately, and definitely doesn’t sound like there will be one in the future based on your recent post:

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/do-i-have-to-go-to-this-bachelorette-party/#axzz3EdqvY5WP

So, don’t let the robe bother you, it’s just one more thing that if you stew over it, she “wins” by getting under your skin. Grin and bear it, thank her for the gift, and move on with your life without her! 

 

ETA: For what it’s worth, I would have gone to the bachelorette party. Mostly out of obligation. But I don’t think I would stay friends after the wedding. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  LoveMyBrit.
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