- 4 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
Okay so this is going to be super long so thank you to anyone who actually takes the time to read it.
The only way to understand this is from the very beginning so my SO has a mom (duh) and stepmom, but has lived with his dad and stepmom sinc ehe was 7. His mom was still in this life in a big way only thing is he didnt live with her. Let’s call his mom A and his stepmom B. Okay so when SO and I started dating he was still living at home, with dad and B, he was always at my house though like all the time he was 20 at the time a very appropriate age to stay with this independent girlfriend in her apartment. I met SO through a friend well call her C, he’s her “cousin”, she’s B’s neice but they were raised together. Sorry I know this all seems pointless but I swear all these details make a point. C was having a party for her parents and suggested I go with SO, here’s the thing being Latino it’s typically very strange for you to meet the family before meeting the parents. So I told SO to ask his father and B if they were okay with this idea and B said she would perfer to meet me first, which I was totally find with SO went alone.
The next day we were going on a date, after we had left the house he tells me B invited me over for dinner. I had on a mini skirt totally unappropriate to meet them in so I told him I’d go but I would have to go home to change. When we got home he never brought it up so we didn’t go. That very week A told SO she wanted to meet me and invited us out for the upcoming weekend, we appected. When B found out she was not happy, she said she felt as though it was a slap in the face (which is silly cause that’s his mother) After I met A, B started actually really weird with SO a week later she TEXTS him saying he until the end of the week to get his things. SO is a really sweet guy doesn’t like to argue or even question things he simply went the house picked up this things and moved in with me. I think B thought he would talk to her and ask to stay but it kind of back fired cause we only got closer because of it. Anywho time goes by and still haven’t met B but met A’s whole family and had been spending a lot of time with them and bonding.
This made situation made things weird for me and C cause she considers B SO’s mom and I didn’t. Yes I know he lived with her but he told me he doesn’t call her mom yes he sees her as more than a stepmom but that A was his mom and that’s that. SO approaches B about meeting me and she says that with his borther going back to college (away from home) and SO having moved out, and the fact that I met his mother first felt like a knife in her heart, so she said her emotions are all over the place and that she wasn’t ready to meet me. I was pissed I feel like that was the stupidest thing I had ever heard so by this point I had a bad feeling about meeting her (whenever that was) and stopped worrying about it. Fast foward 6 months later, it’s December a few weeks before Christmas, SO’s dad text SO and his siblings saying there was going to be a family dinner and he hoped to see them all there. Here’s the thing they have invited him over and not me so I thought this was another one of those situations.
Basically B ends up blowing up my phone until I answered to ask me to please consider coming. When speaking to her I felt like she was trying to put me down in a way, she made comments such as “I don’t know how you were raised but in our family…” Excuse me I was raised very well by an amazing woman who did all she could for me THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH! More comments about how her children are very outspoken and not afraid to hurt peoples feelings with their blunt thoughts, again WTF is that suppose to mean. I honestly didn’t wanna go but for my SO I went. I hated it. I felt so uncomfortable the whole time. I tired to go to another family dinner so my SO could see I was trying to make an effort to change things. At first things were rough but we went camping and we did a little bonding (but we were drunk) but anywho this is the point of things I feel like she puts on a show for SO I feel like when I’m around she’s all smiles but still makes comments but when I try to make that effort and talk to her I’m brushed off.
The last time we went to their house I left in tears I just can’t take this and his dad and B are the type of people that love having family events but I refuse to go and feel this way. Again SO is very sweet and wants to say something to her about this but just doesn’t know what to say. I want this fixed before the wedding and not for me cause I hoenstly could care less if she was apart of our lives but for him. Next year we’re getting married and within 2 years we wanted to start having children I know it would be very unfair if our children were closer to my family and A’s family and his dad and B left in the dark.
Please any advice you have please tell me.
Thanks again for reading.
Sorry if there’s any type-o’s I’m ranting hardcore lol