Monster in laws. LONG

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
2222 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Honestly, I would stop the texting. Pick up the phone and talk or meet up in person. Too much can be construed or taken the wrong way. You don’t have to be best friends with her but you should try to be pleasant for your husbands sake.

 

To be really blunt? I don’t know how well I would have reacted to receiving a text picture of a positive pregnancy test. You couldn’t have waited to tell her in person or called?

 

Post # 6
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee

@eecuadrado:  I think your in-laws are being childish. My Dad tends to act this way too…his new wife is a raging bitch but they expect us to be the ones to visit and call all the time. If we are out of contact for a long time it’s MY fault for not calling or visiting, even though I have had 5 different apartments in the last many years that neither of them have ever seen.

Your Fi’s step mom sounds emotionally manipulative. HE is the one having surgery and yet she’s upset that he asked her not to be there. She made that situation all about her. YOU are the one that’s pregnant (congrats by the way!) and tried to meet up with them to tell them. When that failed you sent a pic and they act less-than-enthused, probably since it was a text/picture (again, wow, all about them).

You traveled out for their party to see them and it’s all about how you guys are the ones “being strangers”.

I would just distance myself from them. I seriously hate this kind of behaviour and I get it from my parents and my SOs parents too and I have little tolerance for it. They’re selfish and anything that happens in your life is only going to make them think about how it affects themselves.

Post # 7
Member
3519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@PinkPinstripes:  I agree–OP, you probably should have called to tell her she’s going to be a grandma instead of sending the picture.  I would have been offended by that as well.

Post # 8
Member
3268 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@eecuadrado:  I agree with PinkPinstripes in that the texting needs to stop. I think you would get further, or at least have to deal with less passive-agGressive sounding garbage, if you were to call and speak to her or at least use voicemail. Texting and email are the worst forms of communication for instant flying-off-the-handle sorts of communication, or saying things that come out the wrong way.

I think your in-laws are being pretty immature. I also think that it would have been better if you had told her in words, somehow, that you are pregnant, than just sending a picture of the test, though that is not the big issue at hand by any means!

Remember, act like the mature one in the situation at all times, and that will help! (Not that you have been acting immaturely, I just think the texting and everything is not a good way to communicate with someone you have a difficult relationship with).

Congratulations on getting pregnant, by the way!

I hope you can acutally get to speak to her about whatever is wrong, or at least learn to let it go and not communicate with her much, but the latter doesn’t sound like it’s possible. 🙁

Post # 12
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Like other PP, I would stop texting. Texts are easy to ignore and tone can be difficult to communicate or understand. Call her. If she doesn’t answer, leave a voicemail. It is harder to ignore personal voicemails, IMO. At a certain point, you may have to let any resentment go and “kill them with kindness” anytime you do see them. Soon, you’ll have a kid and you’ll need to be a good role model anyhow.

Post # 14
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh man….

I feel like they want to get to know you

they do want to include you

but they want to do it on their terms and not on yours

and sometimes you have to let them play that game and let them win you know?

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