- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
Okay so I know I already wrote a post about who to invite to the bridal shower but I need some more input. So here’s what happened since my last post asking for bridal shower advice. We decided to go with a bordering state option and planned to invite everyone within a 2-3 hour drive of the bridal shower. Well when this was decided we figured that meant people I was close to as in my both families aunts, and cousins.
My MOH ended up having some financial difficulty due to planning her own wedding that is a month after mine. So she turned to the mothers and other bridesmaids for help. The bridesmaids are all from different times in my life and so no one knows each other. Apparently none of the bridesmaids got back to her and my mother is currently mad at me for putting my graduate school work as a priority over spending time with her so she refused to respond as well. Well FMIL and FSIL both responded and FMIL even offered to pay for basically all of it, which was great. The thing was she decided to take over planning and decided the party needed to be all about her & FI’s grandmother. She got upset that the guest list included my aunts and cousins and when her and FI talked she misunderstood what he said to her and got wicked pissed. Pissed to the point where they fought & his parents fought for about a week. All over the fact that he thought my family should be allowed to attend and his mom thought it should just be her friends and family.
I understand that usually both sides of the familiy throw party and so each party focuses on that side of the family. So I know she wasn’t being out of line, its just they were planning to have my MOH still be the host and my FMIL just be the person who pays without people knowing. So to my family that would mean that my MOH was hosting a bridal shower but excluding them. I wasn’t even the one who was upset by it my FI was and he got upset with his mom before even talking to me.
Since they fought his mother has decided that the shower is “dead” to her and so she is no longer willing to help my MOH out. So my MOH was upset because she wanted to throw me a shower, has already bought the decorations but just can’t afford a venue or catering like my FMIL was going to do.
After a long talk between my FI, MOH, and myself we decided to change it all up since no invitations have gone out yet. So instead of having a bridal shower in my FI’s hometown we are going to have a couples shower in the town we currently live which happens to have two different community spaces we can use for free.
We are going to help with the food and then my MOH is going to do the decorations and games. So she’ll still be the host we will just be helping her out a little since she can’t do it all by herself.
Due to all this we decided to rethink the guest list and decided to cut it to:
-Bride & Groom
-Wedding Party Members & their dates
Then we realized that it meant my MOH would be throwing a shower but really only the people who are already having to spend the most money on the wedding would be coming. We talked to my dad about it and he’s saying we should invite the aunts and uncles as well, because since they are out of state only a couple of them will come (that they’d probably be hurt if they weren’t invited & won’t be offended by an invitation even if they can’t come). If we go that route should we only invite the ones within a couple hours drive of the new location of should we invite them all?
I feel conflicted though because it feels like if we go down that route that the mothers are going to get fighting again about being able to invite all their friends too which happened before. Ugg I guess this is what we get for not living by or being close with our families.
Any advice on what we should do would be appreciated.