(Closed) More Drama

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
542 posts
Busy bee

I am so confused with your story. He drove the daughter to the concert? How is her moms car involed at all?

Post # 5
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Starshine32:  If I were in your shoes I would take a good hard look at everything FI brings to the table (including the ex, the daughter, and the ex’s family).  They are in the picture and it doesn’t seem like FI wants to exclude them ANY time soon.  I know for me, I couldn’t deal with it (I’m super jealous and would not be ok with him dividing his time).  I guess you have to decide what you are willing to put up with in your relationship, because this other family does not appear to be going anywhere (and both sides (your FI and them) seem to desire the connection to each other.  I’m not saying he’s not being loyal to you or his commitment to you – it’s just that he does not appear to have any desire to sever those relationships. 

Post # 7
Member
301 posts
Helper bee

@Starshine32:  I think it really comes down to trust. His ex and her family will always be in his life because they share a daughter. I’ve known some people that had very bitter relationships with their exes, and others that were close friends. Is he still close with his ex and her family in general? I understand you wanting to feel like your family is the priority. Just talk to him and let him know how you feel. If he was willing to leave you even on New year for his daughter, that is something you might have to deal with. You are not in competition but his daughter will come first. If he was leaving to take care of his ex… that’s a different story.

By the way, Happy Nowruz!

Post # 8
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Starshine32:  When something happens to my son that even mildly serious, I talk about it with my ex husband as long as I need to until both parties feel comfortable. It’s not about “being friendly” with my ex- it’s about being a good parent and making sure everyone feels up to speed.

Drivable and safe are two different things. I can already hear in my own head what I would be thinking-as something similar happened with my ex and my son.

  • Is anyone a mechanic- do we know 100% that the car is drivable and safe?
  • How far are we driving the car? What happens if it breaks down again? What the plan for that?
  • Would you be stuck for a large amount of time inany areas that are unsafe, like the side of the highway?
  • Does the ex or the daughter like to handle things themselves (like my Ex does) and would ‘play down” something becasue they think they can handle it?

I really don’t think that he did anything wrong. He’s a concerned parent and that’s good! It takes a lot of self control to coparent with an ex and do that well. You have a good guy!

 

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