- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
Another Miserable night!
Last night was the persian new year, my fiance and I threw a party, we had arranged it and invited people from a week before (mostly his friends, plus my father and one of his friends)
Two days ago we found that that my FI 18 year old daughter who is studying in a city 2 hours from us was coming to town to go to a concert (not for the new year). I don’t think anyone told my FI her schedule or if anything was expected of him. Fast forward to yesterday around 1pm he calls and says he has to drive his daughter to the concert therefore won’t be able to help with the cooking or preparation of the party. I was at work and so I got home around 6 (party is supposed to start at 7) and my sister helped me cook and do everything that needed to be done. He had said he’d be back by 7, didn’t show up until 8. atleast he had called his friends to ask them to come later so that was fine.
The party was going great until my dad got totally drunk (a whole other story, the problems I have with him and how at every get together he embarrasses me in one way or another) there was throwing up and fainting and all kinds of drama. Quite upsetting for both me and my sister.
Then the guests left around 12am, we were all due to go to work today, my FI had texted his daugther to see how the concert had gone and she had text back saying it was good “except somebody hit moms car, but that nobody was hurt” so undrestandably he was worried and called his daugther and she said she was fine and nobody was hurt, he asked her if she needed him to drive her to kingston and she said no, I was fine up to this point but then he decided to call his ex-wife! and spoke to her for atleast 20 minutes and kept asking if he should go and drive them etc.. (she said NO). I don’t know what kind of accident it was but nobody was hurt and the car was drivable so I assumed it was a small thing. Anyways what I realized last night is that he would have no problem leaving me and going to them even on such a special occasion as new years.
This is not the first time this has happened, last valentines day his ex mother inlaw called him to go to the hospital with her ( they have been divorced for 10+ years and i think this close relationship is not appropriate, especially since we’re supposed to get married in 5 months).
I undrestand he has a daugther and the daughter is a priority but I am not comfortable with him being so close to his ex wife and her family and be willing to pick up and leave everytime they call.
I don’t know what to do, I’ve booked an appointment with a relationship counsullor for tomorow (thats going to cost me close to $200 for one session). I want to go to the first one alone and then he said he would come with me.
I really think there needs to be boundaries which they dont seem to have and more than anything HE doesn’t seem to have…
just really hurt and upset about the entire horrible night. Had a nervous break down at work, thank god my boss is away on vacation…