- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
I’ve been sort of absent around here for a while…I posted a few weeks ago about how my SO agreed and was enthusiastic and totally on board with our timeline and the kind of ring I wanted, and I was all excited. So last weekend the conversation turned toward weddings again and I asked him what did he consider “financially secure” enough to get engaged? (Since we hadn’t really defined that in our previous conversation.) And I tried to explain to him that I didn’t want an expensive ring, or a huge wedding, and I’m most likely going to wear my mom’s dress, so the money he thinks we need to save up might be way more than we actually do…and he just got super awkward and shut down and snapped at me and acted like I was begging to get married RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW. I tried to explain that no, I just want to make sure we’re on the same page, because he’s the type that assumes that the only kind of wedding is a lavish one and that that’s what I’d want, and I wanted to tell him that’s NOT what I wanted, so that he wouldn’t hold off proposing while saving up forever for something I don’t even want. (And he doesn’t want a big wedding either…he’s said many times he’d be happy just going to the courthouse, so it’s not like he’s secretly wanting to save so much beacuse he wants a big wedding.)
But I dropped the subject and came on here a few days later when Mr. Hedgie was offering advice to ask what he might be thinking. Mr. H said it was probably just him needing time to adjust to the wedding being “real”.
Well. Last night we were laying in bed and talking about SO’s new job and how we’re soon going to be out of the red and it’s exciting, and he said something like, “Man, I don’t know what I’ll even do, being able to have spending money every month!” And I joked, “Well…you know what I want.” He said, “….A rat, right?” (because we are going to adopt pet rats soon). I said, “Yes, of course an engagement rat! I’ll wear him on my finger and feed him cheese.”
So we joked around and then the conversation went back to weddings again, and we talked, totally openly & non-awkwardly, about where we want to get married, what kind of wedding we want, etc. (!!!) And since his big hangup is cost of the engagement ring (he insisted that we couldn’t get engaged without a ring even though I said I’d be okay with that), I told him that the ring setting I want is only $300, and he said, “Oh. Really? Ok.” We also talked about going engagement ring shopping so I can try on different stones to see what sizes/cuts look good on my finger, and he said we’d go as soon as his semester is over when he doesn’t have homework to do every weekend.
He graduates May 7th. AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! So given the ring shopping, the job starting May 10th, and his eagerness in all of this…I’m pretty sure we’re getting engaged this summer!!!
I said to him last night, “I’m really glad you’re not being awkward about this anymore. This is so exciting to me and I hate feeling like I have to hide that from you.” He said, “Why would I be awkward?” I pointed out how he reacted last weekend, and he said, “Eh, well, you know.” (Which, for him, means, “Yeah, you’re right, that was kinda dumb of me, sorry!”) So I think, Mr. Hedgie, you were right, he just needed time to adjust.