More fights centered around FMIL and FI's attitude about it… VENT!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I have a crazy FMIL as well. I have actually banned my fiance from arguing with me over ANYTHING regarding his or my family. It has helped ALOT. If he starts off with my moms said … I cut him off and its over. We have aggreed that our relationship is amazing and the only time it is sour is when she is around. 

This is the kind of mother in law I am dealing with – Over controlling, crazy, my way or high way, manipulative, 12 year old. Here are some of my FMIL drama posts if you wanna feel better about your FMIL. 

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/in-law-drama-need-advice-on-how-to-move-past-this-long#axzz2mXqz6u35

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/in-law-drama-update-super-long#axzz2mXqz6u35

Post # 5
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

why don’t you block her on facebook so she can’t see anything you post?

My fiancee and I are not friends on facebook so that we avoid problems like these 🙂 haha, if there’s anything I want to tell him it’s via email or text message

Post # 6
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

ugh, same situation here with the FMIL… she doesn’t want her son to get married period.

When we got engaged, the words that came out of her mouth was, “how much?!” while pulling my hand to look at my ring. I’m not joking, that’s ALL she said. Absolutely ridiculous, no congratulations, nothing! I was furious.

Now she’s even worse. Ugh, dont want to write a novel, but i’m in the same boat!!! FMILs are the worst!!! 

Post # 7
Member
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@TGold:  Its a part of getting married. We have decided though that although we care about the woman we will not be bending over backwards for her.

Post # 11
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Yes block her on FB so she can’t see what you post, then he won’t have to worry about it.  But ugh, I’m sorry!  in-law issues are ridiculous!  My ex-in laws I had blocked on FB and had my email set-up with a filter so if they emailed it immediately bypassed my inbox and went to a folder after some drama where I just said enough is enough. 

Post # 12
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m going to go against the grain and say it’s very easy for you to assume she wouldn’t like anyone her son chooses to be with, because that takes all blame/responsibility away from you.  When you put it solely on her it’s as if you have given up on the relationship and you aren’t even married yet.  I think it’s odd you are not FB friends with her, but I also think you need to be careful about what you post online.  Maybe your FI would understand your sarcasm, but I think it can really rub people the wrong way since tone is so hard to infer online.  I also think it’s not the greatest to ask your FI if he’s “actually hurt” or whether there was an outside influence.  If he says he doesn’t like something, that should be enough. 

Post # 13
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

You should probably start using LOL a lot on facebook. 😉

Post # 16
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@TGold:  You can’t control what his friends see so he would have to block her from certain posts. You won’t be able to do that with FB unfortunately. If you guys were friends (which is a good thing you aren’t) then you could.

At any rate I am sorry you are dealing with such a crazy MIL. I have a MIL that is very clingy, but she isn’t really rude, so I can’t relate completely, but DH used to just coddle her about everything too. He has gotten tons better, and he is much happier he can stand up to her now. She still loves him so obviously she isn’t that hurt about having him stand up to her.

However, even if it is from an outside influence, if your FI doesn’t want that posted on his wall then that’s the way it is and you shouldn’t do it if he asked you to stop. If you decide not to, don’t be offended if he starts deleting some of your posts. I don’t think what you posted was offensive, but if it makes him uncomfortable for his mom to see just respect him and don’t post it. In day to day activities where you are around his mom and she is being rude, then he should stand up for you and not give in (and you shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells at that point either) but it’s his FB. I’d respect his wishes.

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