(Closed) more FMIL drama: engagement announcements

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What should I do?
    Apologize for everything! : (4 votes)
    18 %
    Apologize for nothing! : (3 votes)
    14 %
    The not-apology ("I'm sorry you feel that way") : (11 votes)
    50 %
    Apologize for some but not all (explain below) : (4 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Your FMIL is crazy. She should be equally upset with your FI if she’s legitimately going to get all pissy weirdo on you. It’s not a one-sided thing. You ran it by your FI and he obvoiusly thought his dad’s name was spelled the way it is.

    How did you even come to find out about her old middle name? Obviously she didn’t do a very good job of changing it. 

    Just tell her you and your FI are sorry she’s upset with your oopsies mistakes. You’re not sorry…you’re just sorry you upset her. And she needs to stop flipping out.  Why doesn’t your FI just get on the phone and be like "mom you gotta chill. You’re being too intense" or just call her out on her drama antics?

    If you don’t stop her it’ll keep up! She sounds crazy high maintenance, sorry! 

    Post # 4
    Member
    695 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Well, I have a feeling, no matter what you say, she is going to either not accept an apology or make a mountain out of a molehill. 🙁 So, apologize for the misspellings and that’s it. Say you didn’t do it on purpose and wish you could fix it. I wouldn’t give any excuses because she’ll just use them against you. Have you and FI both apologize together so she can’t use you against each other. Unfortunately, with crazy toxic people you have to anticipate every little thing. It’s exhausting, I know. I’m sorry you are going through this. But, try to laugh it off. 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    2641 posts
    Sugar bee

    I don’t understand why you are taking the blame for all of this.  Is she upset with both of you?  I agree with ejs, your FI saw it.  So why isn’t she taking more out on him for not knowing how to spell names? Or what you two were wearing?  And if she wanted this write up so badly, why didn’t she do it herself?  Like you could send her some info necessary info to put in, but she writes it up, puts the picture in…. and off it goes.

    Post # 6
    Member
    440 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I’d get FI into the picture and have him sit down and talk with his mom… she’s acting  over-the-top by the sounds of it, and should have taken care of the annoucement herself. You made a valid mistake with the names, and a simple straightforward appology for that should be sufficient… and the photo? I’d be telling her in no uncertain terms to get over it.

    Post # 7
    Member
    426 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I agree with the above comments.  YOu should simply apologize for the miss spelling and name confusion – but thats it…

    If she wanted it done a certain way she should have done it herself!  I would have your FI talk with her as well and have him tell her how its not all your fault and she is making too big a deal out of it…  

    Over all, there is much bigger stuff to worry about and I think she is blowing this way out of proportion! 

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