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I think it depends on your guests. I know my crew would want me to go for the drinks, but your crowd might be different. You said yourself the 3 hour hosted bar is common for your crowd so maybe it's better spent on the food in that case.
I would spend it on the alcohol. It helps to keep guests more relaxed. I've been to weddings where I've had too many appetizers only to leave me very little room for dinner let alone cake!
i vote alcohol...not sure how long you want your reception to last but nothing slows a party down like running out of alcohol. or you could add a 'cocktail hour' before dinner while everyone is getting settled in.
Alcohol. I usually eat too many appetizers and can't even eat my dinner! People will appreciate the drinks.
Are you having a champange toast? How about for that? Other consideration: how much time between wedding & reception? The longer the time, the more I'd lean toward appetizers.
Do you have any appetizers planned? if not, as much as I love a good open bar, the food is pretty vital. I have a friend who now comes to weddings armed with granola bars since she's been to one-too-many wedding without enough food during the cocktail hour.
No champagne toast - if we spend it on alcohol I'd rather make sure it's going towards stuff people love. I used to be a server for receptions and we'd have tons of nearly full champagne glasses at the end of the night, so I'm just personally not for it.
The ceremony starts at 4, the guests will all be getting to the reception around 5, and we're still TDB on dinner time. If we choose appetizers, I'd just push dinner a tad later.
I've been leaning towards alcohol too, but my FI disagrees. Thought it would be interesting to hear from the hive :)
@ ErinMarguerite I do the same thing! I've rarely gone to a wedding where I didn't pack a granola bar. I have a metabolism like a racehorse and most weddings really make ya wait for the food, haha. We didn't have any appetizers planned previously.
Could you split the difference? It would be nice to have a cocktail hour with food, especially around that time when people start getting hungry, but you also want to make sure that everyone has enough alcohol to get happy drunk without going over the top!
I thought about that, but if we split it up, it'd be a pretty paltry amount of appetizers for people to fight over. With the full amount, it's exactly enough.
My FI says that it'd be best to spend the money on something people CAN'T buy more of, rather than drinks, which people can get whatever they choose. A good point, I think, but I'm still pretty torn!
I vote for appetizers. You said in your circle open bars aren't typical and you're already providing beer and wine which is great!! Yes, most weddings really make you wait for the food and you don't want people drinking on an empty stomach. The last wedding I went to about 10 people were throwing up because there was no food at cocktail hour..
if there is a gap between ceremony and start of dinner, (not start of reception but actual dinner), then i would put it towards the appetizers. people get cranky when they're hungry. if there's not much of a gap I would put it towards alcohol. But one question: would you use the money to extend the open bar time or would you use it to add hard alcohol to the bar?
Good choice to avoid a champagne toast... people rarely drink champagne! They always toast with their wine, beer, etc. Save the champagne for mimosas the morning of your wedding :)
I agree with moderndaisy- I would spend it on the appetizers. If there's going to be a long wait between photos & your arrival time, I say keep them happy with food. Beer & wine is sufficient, especially if your guests aren't heavy drinkers!
@ meowkers We'd just extend the bar time for the beer/wine. Hard alcohol would be available at the bar (it's in a restaurant so they have.. everything) but that'd be cash.
I know it's an attitude that's in the minority here, but really, I always bring cash to weddings bc I like hard alcohol and nobody hosts it. I don't mind at all! I thought everybody did that until I read weddingbee.
It's funny bc we DO have a hugehugehuge drinking crowd. It's just that nobody expects us to be paying for all their drinks. The first open bar wedding I went to was just last week and we were all like, "OMG FOR REAL?! AMAZING." I mean, it's just unheard of.. in a good way!
@minneapolitan - yeah isn't it interesting how different areas of the contry have different norms. I've only been to one cash bar wedding, (they had 1 hour hosted), and we were like OMG FOR REAL? and not in a good way. No one had cash because no one expected to pay for their drinks. It's just not the norm here.
i think you really need to look at how much the appetizers or extra bar time would add to the guest's enjoyment. How many appetizers would there be? what would they be? how much more alcohol time? etc. If the appetizers are just a cheese tray and some other typical fried appetizer thingy, then I would go with the extra alcohol because the people would enjoy that more.
If it is a norm in your area to have partial host/cash bar I would go for the appetizers because your guests can't buy it if they want it just like your FI said!
Alcohol is totally where our money is going. We are having a open bar with top shelf and 6 wine choices. I feel like a champagne toast would be a waste so we are just loading the bar up with champagne for anyone who'd like it. 5 Hours long.
Food is important and if you aren't used to being at open bar weddings then have hor'deuvers.
If you are having any time before dinner of drinking then by all means put the money toward hor'deuvers so everyone is tipsy and drunk before dinner.
I think in your situation I would go for the apps! We ran a little low on our buffet food but people didn't complain too much. But some of our appetizers were WAY more popular than we had anticipated, and every one let us know if they only got two shrimp or didn't get to try the sushi!
People go crazy on the appetizers, and it helps cushion some of that alcohol intake and avoid major drunken debauchery!
That said, the reason people weren't too concerned about the buffet running low was because we had been plying them with liquor, beer, champagne and wine all night!! Everyone said what a great success our reception was because the alcohol naver ran out!! We DIY'd our alcohol... so I guess if there is plenty for them to purchase after open bar, it should be fine ^__^
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I'm torn on some reception choices that we have to start making soon...
We're keeping our wedding pretty informal, paying for about 70% of it ourselves and keeping it as inexpensive as possible for about 130 guests.
We've magically discovered we'll have a small chunk of change to spare that we hadn't expected and now I'm trying to decide if we should
a) Have a few passed appetizers before dinner
or
b) Contribute more of our $ towards the bar fund.
As it is right now, the guests are having plated dinners with a salad course and we'll have a bar with beer/wine/sodas etc hosted for approx 3 hours. ( In my whole life, I've only been to one open bar wedding, everybody does it like this in our circles so I'm not interested in opening up that can of worms :) )
We can do one or the other... but definitely not both. What would you folks go for?