Post # 1
It will make a lot more sense if you read that post first.
Anyway, my mom text me that night and said she’d come to the shower thrown by my aunt and cousin. I was relieved that she was willing to suck it up and attend her daughter’s bridal shower.
About five minutes ago, I got this text from my mom:
“I’ve decided I don’t wanna go to the shower (my cousin) is throwing. So, we’ll have to come up with something else.”
WTF?!? I just finished getting the address list ready to give to my cousin so she can get invites out. Now, my mom tells me she doesn’t wanna go. Of course, because now she’s saying she wants to throw me a shower on her own (which she’s not supposed to) she is going to want all of her friends/family to be invited to the shower she’s throwing, not the one my cousin is throwing. One of the people from my mom’s side has been begging me to give her a set-in-stone date because she has to take time off from work wayy in advance, and she works Saturdays. So, I just told her the other day that I should have a date set by the end of this week. Now, what am I going to tell her? “Oh, my mom has a petty issue with my cousin, so I’m not allowed to invite you to that shower. You’ll have to wait another month before my mom finally decides what she’s gonna do.”
I wanted ONE shower. That is it. As it stands right now, I am definitively having three (FMIL is throwing my lingere shower, and doing a Pampered Chef shower), plus a fourth if my mom really goes through with throwing one herself.
All of this drama is making me nuts. I can guarantee my mom is going to weebil-wobble back and forth on throwing me a shower until the very last minute.
… and you wouldn’t believe what all of this “drama” between my mom and my cousin is over. Definitely nothing to hold onto, that’s for sure!
Post # 3
Can your mom go in on the shower with your FMIL? That is a heck of a lot of showers!
Post # 4
Disclaimer – I don’t know if this will work with your mom since it could backfire.
Can you call her bluff? In other words, go with your guest list as planned, includingyour mom and her family/friends. She made decide to show up once it becomes a reality and is actually happening. Tell her that’s the only weekend that works, and you’re sorry, but you don’t have time for a 4th shower.
Post # 5
I’m gonna suggest she go in on the Pampered Chef party, but I can guarantee she’s not gonna wanna come to that, either.
Post # 6
Honestly, you should not be involved in any of this. I would tell everyone to do whatever they want to do and just be a part of the showers that they’re throwing you.
Post # 7
Ugh, that sounds terrible. I would just ignore it as much as possible. Have your cousin send an invitation to your mom and let your mom figure out if she is going or not. I think your safest bet regarding your mom throwing a shower as well is to stay out of it as much as possible. “Let me know when you figure it out/let me know you need an address list”
You have enough things on your plate that you shouldn’t have to worry about the drama. I can’t imagine it not working out in the end 🙂
Post # 8
Oh man, that sucks. I’m sorry you’re having to go through all of this. Honestly I agree with LadyBear. Sometimes you just have to make yourself happy. You’re already having two more showers than you wanted so I wouldn’t encourage Mama throwing another. I’d leave Mama’s name on the guest list (for cousin’s shower) and whether she decides to go or not is her decision.
I assume if she has such problems with your cousin, then either A) your cousin is aware of Mama’s issues or B) Mama goes out of her way to keep cousin in the dark, in which case she will probably go to the shower and play nice. Either way she’s responsible for her own decisions and shouldn’t be adding to your stress. Hang in there. It will all work out in the end.
Post # 9
@2PeasinaPod: I agree. I did not want to be apart of any of this, at all. It is so confusing to me why everyone is trying to act like I need to plan my own showers, too (on top of the entire wedding)! They should be telling ME when and where my shower is, and everybody needs to suck up their issues and quit adding stress to my plate!
I am so happy that my cousin decided to throw me a shower, because I was beginning to think I wasn’t going to get one. Then, Future Mother-In-Law decided she was going to have me a lingere shower and a Pampered Chef shower. I’m excited for all three, but I feel really, really awkward about having three. I feel like people will be talking behind my back about having so many, even though it wasn’t up to me. If my mom throws one, too, it will make me feel even worse.
I am just going to have my cousin send out invitations to everyone, including my mom. If she doesn’t want to go over something so pathetic, then oh well. Of course, I’ll then be responsible for dodging the, “Why isn’t your mom here?” questions that will be inevitable at the shower.