More money=shorter marriage?

posted 2 years ago in Money
Post # 2
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’m pretty sure the sample size for that study was only 3,000. I wouldn’t trust the data to prove something one way or the other.

I think it’d be the opposite.  When couples fight, it’s usually about money.

 

Post # 3
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

All I know is that the less money DH and I have, the more we work together to budget, and the closer we are.

Post # 4
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

netto614:  I haven’t read the article, and I’m def not saying that ALL people who spurge on weddings are like this, but I know a few couples who weren’t that great together, but they spent thousands and thousands on there wedding because they thought that the flashier they looked, the more important and wonderful their relationship would appear… One of those couples is divorced now, and what a waste of money…

But again, everyone is different and studies like this can never predict how an actual marriage is going to turn out. That being said, FI and are are NOT wasting our money on crazy decorations and a bunch of food that won’t get eatten… We are going on an amazing honeymoon, though. 😉 haha

Post # 5
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My theory is that money–or, to be more specific, the things you can do with money–can mask a weak relationship or poorly-matched couple. It’s easy to get along and “love” each other when you are doing fun things. We’ve all experienced–think about the surge of happines and emotion you feel on your honeymoon. I suspect that eventually, however, vacations, gifts, shopping cannot mask a couple that doesn’t quite fit.

I don’t want to suggest that this is intentonal or anything. I just think that the lifestyle that some wealthier people tend to live can can that effect. I guess it’s like the idea that you don’t really know who a person is until you’ve really struggled through something with them.

Post # 6
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

There are waaayy too many factors to make a correlation just based off that. Spending tons of money on a wedding when you don’t have it? Yeah that’s gunna cause some problems. Spending tons of money when you do have it? Not so much a problem, depends on the couple’s views. One member spending a ton of money on it when the other one isn’t on board will cause many more problems that agreeing how to spend the money together. It is not a direct correlation by any means. 

Post # 7
Member
481 posts
Helper bee

netto614:  When people spend thousands and thousands of dollars on their wedding, I sometimes wonder if they’re more excited about the wedding than about the actual marriage. Not saying this is always the case, but I don’t think it’s unheard of, either.

Post # 9
Member
8025 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think it’s a small sampling of people that were desperate enough for 50 cents to fill out the survey and be a member of an e-rebate site. Hardly can say that is actually representative of all the married people in the  US.

 Debt is obviously a huge issue that can cause lots of tension so maybe out of those people their expensive rings/weddings led to debt. For plenty of people their parents or hefty incomes pay for their expensive weddings, sometimes in which the couple profits off of, and their  e rings are paid for by check out of savings that were replaced with in months. I am in that population and it’s pretty foolish to say I care more about a ring than a marriage because we’re spending what’s normal and completely affordabe for us and our circles but is considered expensive by people taking a paid online survey. Over 4K they count as expensive? Please. 

Post # 10
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

netto614: Just read the “article,” if you could call that small snap shop an article. It doesn’t really say too much. But on a slightly different note,  I also wonder if the financial position of the couple factors into the divorce part. As in, if both individuals are financially stable and the relationship isn’t working out, then their is an option of divorce.

In contrast, I wonder how many couples “stay together” because one partner cannot afford to leave (i.e., women who don’t work, don’t make enough, SAHMs or couples who can only afford their lifestyle together). 

Not to have a dismal look on the situation, but just because a couple stays together doesn’t mean their have a happy, healthy functional relationship. I would love to see more studies on the quality of marriages rather than the “length” of marriages.

Personally, I get tired of the “I am never going to get divorced” or “so and so has been married 50 years.” That’s all well and dandy, but what about the quality of the marriage. Yes, it takes work and won’t always be sunshine and roses, but there are unfortunately some couples who are legally still married, but are no more committed than non-married couples.

Post # 11
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

One of my friends who ig getting her PHD in stats posted this online relentlessly mocking it. The conclusions they come to ARE NOT supported by the data they generated.

They used a thing called mechanical turks where people respond to surveys for 50 cents a pop. The vast majority of their sample made less than 24,000 a year and they DID NOT normalize for income in their final anylisis. So of course buying a 4000 ring and having a 30000 wedding is a risk factor for divorce in this sample, costs like that represent a very large hunk of their entire net income! I am sure that if the sample normalized for income or surveyed wealthier people the results would be VERY different.

Post # 12
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

Some people are insecure about their relationships and overcompensate with a huge wedding, but it’s not enough to make a marriage strong.

Some people spend a great amount of money over their wedding, but they have so much money it’s actually only a small fraction of their total savings. They’re not more likely to get divorced. 

Some people are just irresponsible with money, and when reality hits, it hurts their marriage. I think this is what happens the most, because we live in a society where a lot a people are used to living beyond their means.

Post # 13
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

There’s actually a statistically significant positive correlation between higher income and odds of staying together (i.e., the more you make, the less likely you are to get divorced). That said, my years in consulting told me that you can basically find data to say whatever it is that you’re trying to get across. My gut tells me this is right though; the hypothesis being that with additional income, you reduce the major stress caused by financial struggles which is a known cause of divorce. Not sure what to make of the correlation between more expensive weddings and divorce, but perhaps it indicates a lack of frugality/monetary awareness that translates into money problems down the line? Or maybe people get caught up in planning their gorgeous, crazy expensive wedding, and don’t think about the marriage? 

Post # 14
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I read similar article yesterday saying the more a couple send on a wedding, the higher rate the couple will divorce. And a couple who spend over 20K USD would lead to 49% divorce rate. 

I paused for a moment when I read it and we spent 38K on our wedding and recover from gift money which in total I think we pull less than 10K from our pocket.  Being say that, I don’t think it’s a fair article. True, if we spend that much on our wedding and we are in debt. We have a problem here.  While FI and I are not super wealthy, we been through financial struggle before.  When we are engaged, I sold my condo and gave us a heathy 72K fund from it. That alone enough to cover my new SUV, the wedding and leave some emergency fund on our home (20+k).  

Bottom line, it all comes down to communication and agreement on how we spend our money. Hubby used to be a big spender but he changed all his bad spending habit now.  While we are not living in a luxury life style, we are living within mean and I’m happy about it. I don’t foresee how it will lead us to divorce ….and we both do not believe in divorce. It’s something not in our dictionary at all. 

 

Post # 15
Member
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m not sure they have anything to do with each other, however there are some wedding obsessed people out there that will get engaged to the wrong guy for the glam and fairytale of the wedding.  Those brides are likely to spend a lot on weddings, and perhaps are the reason for this data.  It is not the wedding itself that breaks them apart- just the fact that they should have focused a lot more on the marriage then the wedding and realized they shouldn’t get married at all.  

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